Carly Waldweiler

vibin’ and survivin’

[Carly Waldweiler @Cwaldw]

You can pry my plethora of green dresses out of my cold dead hands

[Carly Waldweiler @Cwaldw]

The other night I had a dream a old friend of mine was pregnant, decided not to reach out because that would be a weird right out the gate sentence
She just announced her pregnancy on instagram

[Carly Waldweiler @Cwaldw]

I was apparently a mile away when this occurred

[DUA LIPA @DUALIPA]

31.05.2026 🤍

[eDuty @edutyland]

não supero até hoje

[Carly Waldweiler @Cwaldw]

Falling into the trap of visiting somewhere and thinking “Should I move here?”

[Carly Waldweiler @Cwaldw]

It happened again
Are the Pels a big deal here???

[Carly Waldweiler @Cwaldw]

OF COURSE I’d be in a pub in London talking Pelican player stats with the barkeep
Best part is I didn’t even start the convo???

[Carly Waldweiler @Cwaldw]

OF COURSE I’d be in a pub in London talking Pelican player stats with the barkeep
Best part is I didn’t even start the convo???

[Carly Waldweiler @Cwaldw]

Said such a lame joke on a call with my boss he had to end the meeting

[john @johnsemley3000]

the older I get, the less likely it seems I’ll bonk a guard unconscious and steal his uniform, to more easily infiltrate his base.

[No BS Therapist @TweetATherapist]

People on TikTok are like “If someone you don’t know says hi to you as you pass them on a sidewalk, they’re engaging in a manipulation tactic called ‘boundary-bombing’—here’s 5 signs to look out for” and then their next post is “The Village Theory” about how people need community

[BOOMIE !! 🎵 @boomieboxx]

I've got a scary math joke but i'm 2² to say it

[Sanjam Singh @sanxsin]

Hobbies, community events, and having eccentric taste. And always reach out first, everyone’s waiting for someone to reach out.

[Carly Waldweiler @Cwaldw]

My friend (who I made as an adult) told me she could never picture me as a corporate worker
MY OH MY how I must have changed in the last few years

[Deterio 🦍🇵🇸🔻 @NxtDeterio]

for the people who still get confused community have troy and abed friends have ross and joey

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Bob is my nickname.

Robert is my nicholasname.

[Carly Waldweiler @Cwaldw]

The StarKid gods smile upon me, found out they are doing a show in London until the 30th
Guess who will happen to be in London on the 30th

[𝖄𝖆𝖓𝖐𝖊𝖊 @Be_like_yankee]

My son is gonna be so mad when I name him Garrett (short for cigarettes)

[lulu 🌺🍉 @wotterism]

we don’t give 12 year old hermione granger enough credit for, with zero hesitation, setting a grown man on fire upon the suspicion he is endangering the life of the friend she made like a week ago

[Shuja @JaaliPasha]

may no one get married to men like this

[Carly Waldweiler @Cwaldw]

I rewatch this easily once a year

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

Daniel Radcliffe walked away from Harry Potter with about $100 million and fully embraced chaotic indie roles—like in Swiss Army Man, where he plays a farting corpse that doubles as a jet ski and water fountain, a film he’s called his all-time favorite.

[Carly Waldweiler @Cwaldw]

This is my new alarm sound