getting into a pile of their laundry while they're away and rolling around in it and potentially doing bad puppy things with it cause i miss them so much
getting scolded for being a bad puppy but not even really caring because owner is so pretty and hot and my little puppy brain cant process anything else when i'm all entranced by them so it's just going in one ear and out the other while i'm wagging my tail
you say you like toys in bed and mean things like dildos and vibrators
i say i like toys in bed and mean chew toys and tennis balls
we are not the same