Dallas “houston” Carter

‘82 UTexas Alumn, lax daddy supreme, 142 IQ, tested by Mensa, CPA, Big on “noticing”

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

This chick definitely has more than 2 cock tales

[maeva @maevaemiliaa]

2 cocktails and a dream

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

Do little seizures clothes at ate?

[Micah Parsons @MicahhParsons11]

We all here now 😩😂

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

Texting my black friends on MLK day like I text my ‘nam grandparents on Veterans Day

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

2/10 rage bait

[Dr. Rita Ded 🏳️‍🌈🇻🇪🇮🇱🇺🇦🇵🇸 @DrRitaDed]

Every child will be trans in 20 years.

We are taking over

Embrace it or perish.

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

NO PROFESSOR DON’T ABBREVIATE COMMON PARTITION TO CP #FREAK

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

I’ll try harder next year guys

[StopAntisemitism @StopAntisemites]

It’s that time of year - 2025 Antisemite of the Year.

Vote for your top 3 candidates by Friday December 12th!

https://t.co/Z03ndvnbcw

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

#GOPACKGO

[Green Bay Packers @packers]

DROP A GO PACK GO!

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

My packers did good at the auction this year #GOPACKGO #Fuckjerryjones

[Big B @bigpackers4x]

NUMBER 1 SEED GREEN BAY PACKERS 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

#GoPackGo

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

Hey @Austin_Police can you stop dealing with the homeless for a day please and find my fucking car! I know you’re hiding it from me

[Ashley @AMangled]

Waiting all day for Sunday night. #GoPackGo

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

68+-1 =67 funny 🤯

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

I like when animals are named after what they do like flies and horse

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

Sunday MACtion

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Tommy Borum † ⚡︎ @tommyborumjokes]

@HarrisonHSmith They would.

If Charlie turned heel on Israel, they would have someone shoot him at an open-air event and they have some idiot groyper with a genetically anomalous issue there to be the patsy/fall-guy.

Part of why you never make the deal with the Devil in the first place.

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

Uhhhhh

[Harrison H. Smith ✞ @HarrisonHSmith]

I’m not gonna name names, but I was told by someone close to Charlie Kirk that Charlie thinks Israel will kill him if he turns against them.

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

I was already radical now I’m just radically more radical #RIPKirk

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

My uncle just had a kid after getting a vasectomy years ago. Turns out it doesn’t actually prevent pregnancies it just makes the kid black. Why doesn’t the doctor tell you that? #wtfdoc

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

#AustinBCT

[Barstool Longhorn @UTBarstool]

🔥 The Round of 64 has begun 🔥
AUSTIN needs YOUR vote to make it to the next round! 🗳️

➡️ Swipe to learn how to vote.

⏰ Voting ends this Thursday at 11:59 PM EST — don’t miss it!

[Dallas “houston” Carter @CyclicalSickle]

Just found out there’s no wishwasher window because the tiny washer guys are super self conscious. That’s nice and all but I really want to meet them and tell them they’re doing great