Cynical Couple

SM, makeup and an unhealthy dependency on my husband. But mostly snark. Also, our cats. She/her.

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

My level of femme is owning dresses that I can put on over my head without ever having to undo the zipper. #lazyfemme

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

@PurplePPG @JonFrmBklyn I tried Soylent for awhile but it wasn’t made of people.

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

@alexm_py There’s a dead cicada on our table outside the front door.

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

@HeadstrongFemme Fuck you, Caycee.

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

So, the baby. Who is almost 3. Now runs to her room and slams the door when she’s angry. #threenager

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

Who migrated to that B place? Name for connections?

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

Beach cat, beachin’.

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

Burn update:

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

I burned myself this morning make tomato cheese toast. Bonus carpal tunnel surgery scar.

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

@imnewt It’s the besssst.

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

It’s the kinnng tide. It’s the kinnnnggg tide.

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

@HeadstrongFemme

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

@imnewt Ohhh. Mine was Asiago cheese bread lightly toasted topped with NC tomato slices, olive oil, salt and pepper with cheese melted on top under a broiler.

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

@MataLeao

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

@PurplePPG Worse/hard/challenging**

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

@PurplePPG Have you found 3 or 4 to be the worse age?

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

@alexm_py Oh Gd, probably. Thankfully haven’t had to read that since middle school. Beach Music by Pat Conroy.

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

Hello, tomatoes. You’re my favorite NC produce. You’re better than all other tomatoes. You’re good by yourself, and you’re good in a sandwich, salads. You are perfection. And now I shall eat you.

[Cynical Couple @CynicalCouple]

Beach cats are beaching.