luke

I be lying, I be lying for no reason. sometimes I be giggling too but that’s personal

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

Begging on my knees to get into idiot loser heaven but the angels keep shaking their heads and telling me I’m going to hell

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

You can’t spell TWINK without TWINNNNNNN

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

Round two in the penis explosion chamber let’s go

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

Son, there’s a day you’ll stop being a boy, and become a man. That bussy of yours will blossom into a mussy, and there’s nothing you can do about it

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

I’m naming my first daughter Clarity and my first son Evil. After that who knows

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

You aren’t the best dressed person in this bar, bro. You’re not even the best dressed person waiting outside this women’s restroom for no one in particular!

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

Every time I have pancakes and someone asks me if I want syrup, I’m like sureyup! Haha, anyways guys drop a follow for more jokes like this

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

Evil Army General: Hawktuahtron, state your prime directive.

Hawktuahtron: *bzzr-zerp* SPIT. ON. THAT. THANG.

Imprisoned, balding scientist: dear god, what have we done?!

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

Mexican ghost kitchen where instead of guacamole they call it huaktuahmole

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

When I’m drunk and on the phone it’s like I’m literally in the phone world

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

Pulling back my foreskin like turning over a damp log, lots of worms and flies and friends under there

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

Sorry officer, I’m confused, are you upset about the drinking part or the driving part?

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

Grown man just said, “i have a game, it’s like Pictionary” then proceeded to do charades pretending to be Hellen Keller

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

Drake is Taylor Swift for boys

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

The 78th Super Bowl (LXXVII) will be between the California Edgers and the New England Gooners. This came to me in a vision

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

An alcohol problem? This is an alcohol solution.

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

@POISONOMICON

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

Call my cock and balls a charcuterie board the way it’s all meat and cheese

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

@Wendigoon8 @WaffleHouse Get back to Alan Wake bro

[luke @DAEtheVIDEO]

Brb gunna drink until I forget