DBA Reactions

I keep a webcam on my monitor, and when bad things happen, I post my reaction.

[Lætitia @l_avrot]

When someone is bragging about having a huge database (several TB) and after asking some questions you find out that they simply failed at defining their data retention policy...
@DBAReactions

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When I finally make the switch to using Extended Events instead of Profiler https://t.co/bu3F5a4yxq

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When the new "DBA" says he isn't a newbie but doesn't know how to start a
service https://t.co/1mqr3OJzxD

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When a member of TechOps sends me a really detailed email about how to find
the SQL server uptime. https://t.co/XZSjX9sTi4

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

I just got done with our SQL licensing true-up https://t.co/VYiOmTWgEA

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When the DBA is finally added to a two month long email thread discussing a
data issue only to be asked "This shouldn't affect anything, right?" (HT
JoeStefanelli) https://t.co/uDLAKp0vN0

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When I get SQL Server running in a Docker container https://t.co/rHEh4n5jfG

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

The morning when we realized all of our system databases on a specific
production server became corrupt sometime the day before https://t.co/BTOVdwp32A

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

Documenting the stored procedure business logic in our legacy data https://t.co/moEhtgVCkI

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When we have to come up with a plan to downsize databases from an Exadata onto
an ODA and it involves Crisco, a cork, and duct tape https://t.co/8b9fvuqVPm

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When I get back from vacation to find 3 weeks of failing backups, the ops team
didn't think it seemed important enough to disturb me https://t.co/Yd4VcKU7Q1

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When one of our production applications is suddenly generating about 10x the
amount of CRUD transactions (and paging me out on Saturday because of filling
up our archive log file system) https://t.co/j7ZJ2gqjym

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When the user says: "My program crashed", and I ask: "What are the details?",
and they say: "It crashed with an error" https://t.co/EvEjY3i2BC

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

"We load balance between SQL Server and Access" https://t.co/GAJPEOynbf

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When I realize we're storing GUIDs as NVARCHARs https://t.co/t2wUxvyZOl

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When I politely respond to code review comments about my stored procedures https://t.co/qvCrRZTWm0

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When the network guy's vernacular for "I don't know" is "sounds like a
database problem" https://t.co/H1OiQgIhio

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

Finding out that the same service account is being used by multiple instances
in production, QA, and dev https://t.co/jxaedYVUf7

[DBA Reactions @DBAReactions]

When the consultant tells you that they want to load test their application.
In production. During business hours. https://t.co/sCh4eISUmA