DC Metro Delays

At WMATA we believe fear and confusion is half the experience (parody)

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

Happy Swamp Day! Today is dedicated to the puddle you're sitting in thanks to one of our patented Hot Cars™

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

Did somebody shut down some rails? Wait, who did that. Was it my stepson again, Jordan get down here

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

Beware the swamp trains

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

Watch out! A random train is chosen every day to travel on the "Dark Line" which is a fun way to describe the path to the train graveyard

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

At Metro, we believe every day is cause for celebration! That's why we run trains every 20 minutes as if it's a federal holiday

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

"Trains?" Well, there hasn't been a train here in years

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

Of you lose your SmarTrip card on the system you can make up for your exit fare by booping a station manager on the nose with your finger

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

Delays in both directions on the red line due to an increasingly intense horse debate at Friendship Heights

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

Today at metro were celebrating a huge landmark, two whole days without a part of our rail system exploding

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

We don't even know what arcing insulators are

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

Delays on red line continue in both ways due to a dance-off at White Flint

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

Everything on the metro is working just fine

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

We are happy to announce a company-wide Easter Egg hunt taking place in the tunnels of the metro system tomorrow!

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

Metro is working to bring phone service to all parts of the rail system to ensure you can call your boss to say you'll be late for work

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

Blue and Orange line trains are currently bypassing McPherson Square and and Farragut West due to roving gangs of bullies

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

To prevent our trains from arriving behind schedule we will no longer display train schedules. That way they'll never technically be late

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

The new trains were a lie

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

In order to prepare for upcoming warm weather Metro will be installing humidifiers on 60% of current rail cars.

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

This week, from 10AM and 2PM, trains will single-track between Stadium-Armory and Addison Road due to goblin rituals

[DC Metro Delays @DCMetroDelays]

Did you sit in a seat that had a puddle of water in it? You've won our Wet Butt lottery! The prize is experiencing swamp butt in the winter