DBirch

Do It UPPP!

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

My toxic trait is that my crippling heart burn prevents me from reaching my true blackout potential....

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

Hello old friends

[Jägermeister USA @JagermeisterUSA]

Some of y’all have never put your bottle in the freezer and it shows.

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

I don't know why, but I can't tag anyone anymore

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

@jdershem u up?

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

@davisbailey31 do this

[Fastbreak Hoops @FastbreakHoops5]

Bro really changed the game with this one 👀

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

@jdershem u up?

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

Been a while since I've had a tweet along kinda night....

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

#AlcoholIndicedAutism

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

All I brought back with me was some sand in my gouch

[Mike P @mikepat711]

“Holy shit, Tesla just made a car drive itself from the manufacturing line directly to the home of a customer without a human operator.”

“…yeah, but…”

No. Shut the fuck up and listen to me.

A car just drove itself from the production line of a factory to someone’s home with nobody in it. Do you need me to repeat that?

An automobile. From the production line, off the lot, across miles of public roads, and onto the lot of someone’s home. Autonomously. Nobody in the car. It drove itself.

Science fiction. But not fiction anymore.

Do you understand? You are alive on earth and this just occurred in real life. You are living in a sci fi novel, but it is real life.

Unbelievable. Humans are fucking unbelievable. I’m so happy.

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

Sitting in the lounge at the Vegas airport on a Sunday evening, this place looks like the waiting room for an ER

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

I like my coffee like I like my sleeping conditions..... #Dark

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

If you like B12 you'd love meth.... Huh?

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

Intrusive thoughts are about to get an Oscar tonight #Winning

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

@jessiemurphhh >@taylorswift13 .... I said what I said

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

Walks into new bar
*me to the waitress*:
"Can I get a kettle one water?"
Random girl at the bar that's apparently not a waitress: "excuse me?" "You're pulling my leg"
Me *pulls apparent ”not waitress's leg" *
Apparent not waitress "WTF?"

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

Intrusive thoughts are about to get an Oscar tonight #Winning

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

Midgets are fascinating

[DBirch @DDaaNeRR]

Let your intrusive thoughts win