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Tweeting is legal & also therapeutic

[👹 @DEEPSCARYVALUE]

If you don’t read my tweets with this meme in your head, then you’re doing yourself a disservice

[Domo Julio @DapperDomo]

Michelle Obama has spoken fairly regularly about how the Obama’s would miss out on opportunities so they would not inconvenience the public because they were in the White House to serve others.

[Josie Marcellino @JosieMarcellino]

Look man, I think we’re all adult enough to be able to discern between genuine racism and when you’re high on crack and trying to pick what hooker you want to bang with crack level urgency

[sidd 🍄🪼 @juschi11en]

Women talk to their friends like "omg bestie ilysm I'd kill for you" and men just go "bro you're ultimately just a pawn in my grand scheme"

[james hawkins @james406]

parents: "move out"

girlfriend: “quit being such a loser”

boss: "work harder"

claude: "uber for dogs (the dogs are the drivers) is a great idea, you should absolutely pursue it"

[Polly Sigh @dcpoll]

I’m constantly amazed at how Republicans keep pretending that this isn’t the dumbest motherfucker who ever lived.

[Tahra Hoops @TahraHoops]

if this is hard for you to understand maybe you should not be in charge of a 15 billion dollar city budget

[J. Ryder🪿 @harbingerofwoke]

Zohran 2072 gonna be rolling like

[Braxeo @Braxeo]

I do not agree with you

[sashiko sam @TrapBasquiat]

Everyone has this moment at some point in their lives lol

[Slimm 🦅 @Dizzy_3D]

Mf happier with the rock than the Lombardi LMAO

[Legion Hoops @LegionHoops]

The Knicks have cancelled all watch parties outside of MSG due to Donald Trump’s attendance for Game 3, per Knicks PR.

[Kharis @kharis_micheal]

When she starts becoming mean, it’s time to leave.

[Rob. @Robfrfr]

You be thinking you and a shorty about to make it to the finish line then her weird gene activates

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@villainmonkey Love

[Cameron 🇺🇸 🗽🦅 @CameronCorduroy]

they've built concentration camps and i'm expected to act like it's a mere difference of political opinion

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@JoeyMannarino How about you going fuck yourself Joey. Say that to my face if you ever see me in person you weak ass lightweight.

[𝕾𝖎𝖗 𝕮𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖘 @eagleseyeinc]

i’ll tell you for free: there’s an insane level of confidence that comes from knowing money is never your problem.

[Noamneo @Noamneo_]

Everyone who bought the dip instead of panic selling on Monday morning: