DevOps Borat

Cultural Learnings of DevOps for Make Benefit Glorious Teams of Devs and Ops.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

In startup we are gamify site outage. Three outage and ops team is out.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

Attention devops! Make of sure you have strong plan C. Plan A and B are never work.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

In startup we have great of capability for churn out solution. Please send problem, we are pay good money.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

You can not able spell business without BS.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

In startup we are only use technology if is cover in blog of expert devops on benchmark is run on own laptop.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

Cloud is not ready for enterprise if is not integrate with single server running Active Directory.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

Fact of useless: 90% of data is not exist 2 year ago. Fact of use: 90% of data is useless.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

Every PaaS can able be reduce to 120 Perl script.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

In startup we are practice Outage Driven Infrastructure.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

Dirty secret of Big Data is you can not able deploy if you not have SQL expert on staff.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

You can not able have unlimit scalability without unlimit outage.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

Word "impossible" is not exist in devops vocabulary. Instead we are use "done by Q4".

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

For increase revenue we are introduce paywall between dev team and ops team.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

50% of devops are confuse causation with correlation. Other 50% are just take wild ass guess.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

So many of enterprise Hadoop vendor, so little of time.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

Correct ratio is 1 devops for 100 server because is not possible of ssh and give personalize attention on more server in 1 day.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

In devops we have best minds of generation are deal with flaky VPN client.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

Source of Microsoft and Hortonworks are tell me Hadoop for Windows is release as Excel plugin.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

Source of Mozilla is tell me Firefox OS is write in HTML5 one-liner.

[DevOps Borat @DEVOPS_BORAT]

For every of stakeholder involve in your project is completion of project delay by 6 month.