@Elkrosmediahub They will still come here and argue about this simple fact. Why is it so difficult to understand this very simple logic?.. Easy access to you is a sign of low value. No man who is willing to commit to you will want other men around you. Simple
@jon_d_doe For a married woman to be bold enough to be sleeping with 3 younger men outside her marriage, then she's already done with the marriage. These women get bored easily bcos they have been with so many men and can't just be under a man. After like 2 kids, they go back to the street
@jon_d_doe This is a sad reality of what we'd be seeing with many women of this generation. They have been with a lot of men that they can no longer pair bond with just their husbands alone if they eventually get married. The street is always calling for them. As a man, be very vigilant.
@Wizarab10 So in the whole of Ibadan, you couldn't find a single mature lady to date. It's a single mother in Lagos that you are trying to cater for. Are you loved at home at all? What is the issue with young men these days trying to play fatherly role on women wey no send your papa?
@jon_d_doe By 27, these young ladies should be married but bcos of their cheating ways, they'd rather remain single and still blame men for not doing the needful. You want to be married and at the same time, you don't want to leave the streets. Why are these ladies cheating so much lately?
There are complexities we don't talk about enough in intimate relations. A relationship ends after 5 years, and you're expected to move on. It is not easy, but you know it is the right thing to do, especially where toxicity and violence sometimes intercept.
The problem is, you cannot erase the memories you shared with your Ex for those 5 years - the daily routine, the outings, their presence that lifts your spirit, the thousand sex you had, the songs you vibed together, the inside jokes and the bad dances you shared, - even their annoyances.
The crazy part is that, even if they were toxic or abusive, you still miss them. Like Colleen Hoover said, "the hardest part about ending an abusive relationship is that you aren't necessarily putting an end to the bad moments. The bad moments still rear their ugly heads every now and then. When you end an abusive relationship, it is the good moments you put an end to."
Yes, he slapped you for driving his car while he was sleeping. But he ordered your favourite meals everyday for 2 weeks to apologize, he gave you massages after work, he was at your beck and call to show he was sorry. He let you win when you play ludo. When you finally decided to have sex again, he blew your mind away. Generally, he is a good person, very thoughtful, made you feel like you were living in a dream, very handy and responsible at home, his face lights up when he sees you, and you always looked forward to going to his place where you were always welcome even without informing him that you were coming. Even when you fought, they were passionate because you both fought for love and to protect the relationship. He is loving, but it's been 12 slaps in 5 years. You had to forgo the opportunity cost of enjoying those beautiful memories if it means you never get to be slapped again over a disagreement.
.
.
.
Now you have to deal with moving on to a new person and creating new memories - memories that compete with the ones you created with your Ex, and personality that clashes with your Ex's with every visible room for comparison. They may not slap you but the new memories are harder to create or commit to because you're accustomed to how your Ex did it, and when you make love with your partner, you close your eyes and think of your Ex.
In the moments you are alone, you pray to the god of Okafor that you don't run into your Ex and he wouldn't text because you know that you cannot reject him and an opportunity to recreate those memories - the kind of memories that slaps, not on the face but the butt. The kind that moans into the night sky and wake up to the scent of him on the pillows.
@Wizarab10 No woman cheats more than a woman in a secured and perfect relationship. As a guy you think you are the exception, just pray you don't find out in the worst possible way. You'll become a shadow of yourself. Brace up.
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