Death of a Salesman

In pursuit of perfection, one glass of wine at a time.

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

@Hermesparcels hey guys, parcel has been sat with you since Tuesday. When do you plan on delivering it?!

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

The Starbucks in JFK-T1 are possibly the SLOWEST humans I’ve ever encountered. More urgency in the queue at death row...

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

@DigitalOutcry @Waller05 joggers implies easy access and I am so okay with that.

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

Tres brilliant cc. @boyofletchman

[Sarah @SarahDuggers]

Omg who made this masterpiece?

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

@DJNSussex Buy a motherfucking airplane

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

@DJNSussex I can't wait for my thirties! I've been told that they're like your twenties only you know who you are and what you want, have more money, and get to rock the salt and pepper vibe. You also get good wedding anniversaries not like cotton and paper and shit

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

Did my cover cleaner REALLY just say she won't wash the glasses left over from last night's dinner?!

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

Got 10 new twitter followers from @Waller05's fleeting disappearance. I will be leveraging my new found fame soon #silverlinings #bookdeal #ITVbe2show #therewerethreeofusinthismarriage

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

@Waller05 Anyone know a vet who does electronic chipping and a full STI check? Asking for a friend.

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

Turns out @Waller05 was just serving #GoneGirlRealness - he's alive and home. Do not believe that there is any need for concern but we may have to wait for his memoirs for an explanation. Now please form an orderly queue at the "Slap Simon in The Face" stall...

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

@pinstripedline @Waller05 Brewers has confirmed to Nick and Rupert that a man matching Simon's description was indeed seen on CCTV leaving the bar (alone) at approx. 2.30am

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

Trying to get hold of @Waller05 - Simon Waller. He was last seen leaving @2BrewersClapham at 2:30am this morning. Potentially looking like a #MissingPerson. Police, family and work have been informed. London gays, please do your thing.

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

Years of refusing to engage with the #rupaulsdragrace culture (coz of toxic masculinity + crippling self doubt) has back fired tremendously. New gym playlist and current obsession =

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

@HyperopticCS "Chat to us on the website" I HAVE NO INTERNET

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

@rosie_butterfly @stephenfry First Brexit, then Trump and now the serious shit is going down. I don't care if I need to harvest my own chickpeas, I shall have (economical) hummus!

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

@rosie_butterfly

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

@ajmy Whaaaaat?! I thought he was family, no??

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

@dontforgetjames I think this is the standard response to watching Call Me By Your Name 👌👍

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

Accidentally had my phone playing music from both my headphones and my living room speaker when I went to the gym. I play my music LOUD at the gym. The volume control on my phone also controls the volume on my home speaker. I was playing Azelia Banks 212 on loop. Poor neighbours.

[Death of a Salesman @DFM_SE10]

@Waller05 "Meal prep" 🤣🤣🤣