Davey Rivers

Dungeon Master. Author? Editor. Tree-enthusiast. Dice goblin.

Too many games, not enough time.

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

Girls are criticized how they dress for school all the time for being too distracting. Whats more distracting-- shoulders or THESE PANTS?

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

America is terrible and we're witnessing the beginning of the end of democracy. Here's my cute ass dog to help cope with this new hell we're in. #pupdate

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

#pupdate

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

@MyWegovy Your choice to use a song about empowerment in your own skin despite societal expectations in a commercial for one of your weight loss drugs is not only tone deaf and uninformed, it's sickening. You should be ashamed.

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

@BobWorldBuilder Cool to see your ranger video getting a shout-out in the @KoboldPress newsletter!

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

@BobWorldBuilder That's really well done, Bob! Looking forward to your next project

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

Tell me why helping a raccoon out of the dumpster tonight feels like the most significant thing I've done this week

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

@Wendys If you're going to implement surge pricing--which is shameful of you, by the way--you're going to increase wages during surge times as well, right?

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

@BobWorldBuilder Way to go, Bob! Inspiring to see you out here learning something new

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

Life is pain
Death is inevitable
Your life is meaningless
Roast beef is delicious
Enjoy Arby’s

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

#dnd

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

@alyssateh_109 Marital bliss

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

@alyssateh_109 I've been thinking hard about this for a while but realized I'd been overthinking it. Nothing big or flashy, I just like being a husband.

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

I'm married now

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

How many times do I need to return to sender a letter I've received from the IRS before they realize the recipient does not live here? I'm around a dozen at this point

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

@sam_schuneman That's double gross, I'm sorry

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

Ended my dnd session on a cliffhanger in the middle of a battle where 4/5 are unconscious and the last one standing just threatened the life of the cult's "promised one" to make them stop attacking. Oof.

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

Tea towels are the throw pillows of the kitchen.

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

@j_jerkatis @MrMonocleTweets 35😤

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

@KRivers12 Firmly not a dalmatian uncle.

[Davey Rivers @DMShinypants]

All my friends are out here getting cats and I'm sitting here allergic