DurpeeNewsNetwork

Bringing you only the most accurate and authentic reporting when it comes to Overwatch eSports. If you have any tips or exclusives, reach out in DMs

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

DNN Q&A:

Even on April 1st, DNN is committed to nothing but reporting the truth. To showcase that, the DNN team will be doing a 24 hour Q&A where we will be answering most of your questions honestly. Comment below if you have any questions to ask us!

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

@OWsunshine @durpee82 @Yugi2x Hello Ms. Bread! Reporter with DNN here. Is it true that Best Buy covers “Durpee as ranked teammate” under their damaged parts and peripherals warranty? -W

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

SHOCKING: Metro Groomin’

Eternus IV streamer MetroDL has been accused of grooming and predatory behavior spanning back years. In hindsight, there were many signs, such as his OW hero “pool” and atrocious Billy build. We at DNN pray for justice and for his victims.

Source: Chazm

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

PSA: OWWC Syndrome

If you or a loved one was lucky enough to compete for a bottom qualifiers team, you may develop OWWC Syndrome. Symptoms include an inflated ego and sense of self importance, and in severe cases, posting about nothing wins on Twitter.

Source: Anonymous

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

BREAKING: Lenny in a Box

Lenny, better known by his gamer tag Sugarfree, has been sent back to America with super fast shipping, courtesy of OWCS’s title sponsor DHL! DHL can return any western player back to their Mickey Mouse region with just a few easy clicks!

Source: DHL

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

On behalf of DNN, I would like to apologize for all of our posts regarding DSG and Team Liquid regarding their substandard performance in OWCS Stage 1. We as reporters should clearly have brought more attention to how atrocious PEPS are instead. For that, we are sorry. -Thragg

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

BREAKING: Hacking in FIL

AME bravely steps forward as a whistleblower to address FIL’s biggest open secret. There are a large number of Expert and Masters league players cheating with no punishments, meanwhile ow1 hackers were getting banned mid-official.

Source: Anonymous

[-AME @AMEdotexe]

1/12th of Faceit streaming their matches

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

@DhillDucks Reporter with DNN here. Is it true that VictorLee Scamshop is a subsidiary of Polymarket and funnels its earnings directly into the pocket of Baz? -T

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

RUMOR: TM Expedition

After the Grand Finals loss to Crazy Raccoons, Twisted Minds staff intend to sign Juan Ponce De Leon to the org to locate the Fountain of Youth. Without the magical fountain, it is unlikely Funnyastro will survive his 3 year contract.

Source: King Charles I

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@T0MMATHAN Reporter with DNN here. We would like to remind the Overwatch community that every Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle has a Master Splinter too. Thank you for your contributions, Durpee! -T

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

PSA: Orgs vs. Companies

Are you having a hard time finding a job but still want to work with irresponsible people, predators, scammers, and general low-lives? Good news! You can simply join an Overwatch team with an “Org.” It’ll be exactly the same but worse!

Source: Anonymous

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

@Spacestation @sugarfreeOW @AdmiralRaptr @Lethal_ow @ultraviolet_ow @ChrisTFerOW Reporter from DNN here. Is it true that SSG intentionally sandbags majors to avoid violating a non-compete signed after migrating regions? -T

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

UPDATE:

Inside sources are also confirming that former Fries In The Bag tank player Krawi has been offered a sleeve of Thin Mints and 5 dollars, which was enough to come out of retirement like the rest of his old counterparts. -W

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

BREAKING: Retirement Home Ethernet

A significant number of old, retired Overwatch pros like Kellex, Void, Fate, Fearless, Shaq, and Durpee are all attempting a comeback now that ethernet ports have been installed in their retirement homes. Newgens beware!

Source: Anonymous

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

@durpee83 @aaronkellerOW @PlayOverwatch @OWCavalry @BlizzardCS Reporter with DNN here. Is it true that possession of the cardboard Reinhardt skin increases an individual’s chance at getting laid? -T

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

@shaqinoff We understand. We have had some bad committee members ourselves. The reporter who convinced us that the Retrohoopers x Vega article would be successful was poisoned with ricin at our first ever quarterly meeting. We needed to make an example of them. -PJ

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

@Winstonplayer1 We at DNN have no affiliation with kars4kids and any of its subsidiaries. However, we will admit that the jingle is a banger. -T

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

A statement from our Editor-in-Chief:

“There have been some recent rumors about DNN and who we might be affiliated with. We are not affiliated with Dhillducks, Blizzard, Palantir, AIPAC, or any other entity. We are a self-funded organization here to broadcast the truth.” -Thragg

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

STUDY: Lab-Grown FACEIT Admins

Researchers have successfully grown a petri dish of bacteria as smart as FACEIT admins. They can almost read, almost communicate, and almost enforce rules at the same level of FACEIT staff. Are the admins at risk of losing their jobs?

Source: DHU

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

@Winstonplayer1 While we are not aware of a full trial list yet, we have heard rumors that Morlock and AMADOU are under consideration. -T

[DurpeeNewsNetwork @DNNreporting]

RUMOR: Avidity new roster

Sources indicate that Avidity intend to pick up the core of Z4ch, Shaqinoff, and Hero! in an attempt to make it out of Masters League. Their staff believe this is the core that will help them finish 5th-6th OWCS just like last time

Source: LAO!