kristin's dreams

I was told to make a twitter account to record my dreams & hypnopompic hallucinations. This is that account. I'm sorry.

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

My alarm is the classical station, so I was sleeping through Chopin's prelude in D flat major, playing along in my dream. Any keys below middle C didn't work though.

Looking closely, I saw those keys had expired credit cards assigned to them ("Ah, makes sense")

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

A monster truck rally featuring Mad Maxian frankenvehicles cobbled together from all generations of US Postal Service trucks

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

Myra from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman was part of the Fellowship of the Ring, & pregnant. The fellowship, especially Gimli, shamed her for carrying an unknown man's child & refused to help her deliver the baby.

"It's not just some man's baby, it's MAH baby!!"

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

I dreamt last night, embarrassingly, that Zohran Mamdani was my hair stylist

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

My gregorian chant choir & I went to a rest stop on the Ohio turnpike that had a whole-ass grocery store inside. I bought two boxes of Zebra Cakes.

The Wendy's there was remodeled to look like a gastropub in 2013. I got a Frosty served to me in a mason jar

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

I dreamt I took a day trip by train to Baltimore or possibly a much-closer, east coast New Orleans (?)

and when I left the train station, crossed the street, and walked onto the pier, it looked just like this (??)

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

a new bluetooth speaker by Bose, which was called:

Bose® Caviar Sole +

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

Hours later, it's 10pm and has been dark for hours, and I'm only halfway there, so I log into the restaurant's reservation portal. Conveniently I can from there submit a message to the other members of my party to alert them I cannot make it to dinner.

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

Walking for hours to meet my family for dinner at a Lebanese fusion restaurant in Detroit.

Slowed down by such obstacles as

"Theatre Bizarre is throwing a parade"

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

"You looked in a mirror and noticed you had dyed some but not enough of your hair pitch black, and it looks really dumb and now everyone in Detroit (except your family, loser) has seen your dumb hair"

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

While she's winding measuring tape around my ankles and speaking gibberish at me, a stream of doctors come through and ask me, full of disdain, if I came to her for the feet or the fashion.

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

Visiting a new podiatrist, an elderly eccentric fashion designer who was asleep and had to be dragged to my appointment

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

I'm chasing a giant kickball barefoot through a Target parking lot. I'm running TOO fast and almost can't bring myself to a stop before running into traffic.

When I do stop, I turn around, and a proud Joey Fatone congratulates me on a job very well done.

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

Sitting in my college class, rocking aggressively back and forth in my massive leather recliner to the point where it sounds like it's going to break, as Christina Aguilera's "What a Girl Wants" fills the air

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

She sees the monkey dressed like her, her face falls, she forces a smile and continues the last couple minutes of her bit. She doesn't land the punchline, she leaves the stage fighting back tears

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

In the final scene of a documentary about Jennifer Lopez's budding comedy career, she's onstage looking stunning in a pink sequined mini-dress and champagne stilettos.

Her jerk of a husband brought out a monkey onstage that was dressed in a pink sequined dress and wig

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

Received the body and blood of Christ from my cat, but it was just cat food

[kristin's dreams @DREAM_MOAR]

Taking a squirrelly, lonely Elon Musk to a @LINGUA_IGNOTA_ concert in the park.

We take a bathroom break and I discover I've had a menstrual disaster, so I make him hunt down a pad for me.