Handy Randy

Not My Hand, Tis Your Moms

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

i only like girls who..breath, speak, walk, run, move and have female organs. #highstandards #notreally #mmm

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

the gym is where i belong, theres sexy women, spandex, and sports bras #hardon #custardcannon #splurge

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

sex is like candy... very sticky.. #dacustardcannonknows

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

I know know why Tony the Tiger likes little children! #sandusky #workingout

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

running behind people is very fun... especially when they are wearing assless chaps! #bootyhole

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

Getting big at the gym.....i cant keep my erection down. #prettyladies #bootysweat

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

im a two pump chump. i disappoint girls often #erectiledisfunction #viagra #squirter

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

tweeting is a lifestyle. a lifestyle no one cares about. #lovinlife #razorblades

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

"oh my lanta, you are my women" -Ringer #bestmovie #whosebay #poorstavy

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

sometimes girls are like magic tricks. i never understand them #confusedpenis

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

music is my escape. so is food. #fatso #notthinspo

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

Hellen Keller is by far the most talented person #usedastick #dontpokeme

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

#MentionSomeoneCuteAndBeautiful Hellen Keller

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

#spongebobmemories When i ripped your sisters "pants"

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

#20SingersThatILike Hellen Keller. Hands down

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

girls are the ones with the problems. not dudes. #youbleed #idont #hatingthe14thamendment

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

drinking is the best way to cure hangovers.. or any life problems #isitthursdayyet

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

my swimmers ear isnt from water #bustinmyear #omeletstyle #holdthecheese

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

i like it when girls touch my elbow. its a turn on #touchmywienis

[Handy Randy @DaCustardCannon]

if i get with you, you wont be able to walk for days #hunglikeahorse #notreally #micropenis #micropenisdisease #MPD