chase

[Wilson F. Ball🇺🇸🇩🇪🇳🇱🇦🇷 @WillyFoosball]

Bosnia?

[Sloimay @Sloimay]

carefully checking the roundness of my son to make sure he's ready to roly and poly

[Football Away Days @AwayDaysFB]

THERE WERE SIX GERMAN BOMBERS IN THE AIR

[Hold The Mayo @snowlikejonn]

Staring down the actual Declaration of Independence before stepping into the octagon as an underdog to beat the piss out of an undefeated fighter in front of the world is an extraordinary level of legendary

[gal౨ৎ @prtygal777]

Hummingbirds can pollinate up to 2,000 flowers a day and usually live around 4 years. She likely visited around 3 million plants before floating away on one she helped bloom.

[Freddy🇩🇪 @FreddyLA7]

The vibes are insane. Driving through the great state of Louisiana on our way to New Orleans. It’s crazy how diverse this country is, every day the scenery looks different.

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

Ben Franklin didn't plow through dozens and dozens of French whores so that you could abide by fireworks ordinances

[NEXTA @nexta_tv]

A Chinese robot wearing a clown wig kicked a child in the stomach.

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

This moment takes on a whole new meaning when you realize that, in the book, Katniss had only one chance to alter the course of history. With her single arrow, she chose to eliminate the emerging tyrant, leaving the old one to face the judgment of the crowd.

[dank @cptdankkk]

Rob Gronkowski says he lived off $50,000 as an NFL rookie because he understood the NFL meant "Not For Long"

"My agent gave me a $50,000 advance for what's going to come in the marketing world for myself. I just had to pay him back within the first $50,000 I made"

"I was able to purchase my first car, which was a 2008 Escalade, and then to be able to pay rent once I got to New England. And then from there on out, I really didn't need any other money"

"I was getting free meals at the facility. I just kind of needed gas money. You go out, the drinks are free or you pay for one, you get 10 free when you're when you're on the Patriots up in the Boston area"

"So I wasn't really spending much money at all, especially when it got to the season. I mean, you're inside that building and everything's handed to you on a daily basis from breakfast all the way to dinner"

"I just lived off my marketing dollars. I was living a low-level life. I had a condo with a roommate that was on the team as well. We're paying $1,500 a month in rent while in the NFL"

"I was very frugal and that's how I got away with it. Not having any lavish purchases, the first couple years in the league and just banking away what I was making because I truly understood that the NFL stands for not for long"

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

A farmer buys a young cock. As soon as he gets it home, it f*cks all the farmer's 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch the cock screws all 150 hens again.

The next day it's f*cking the ducks and geese too. Later he finds the cock lying on the ground half-dead with vultures circling overhead.

The farmer says, “You deserved it, you horny bastard!” The cock opens one eye, points up, and says, “Shhhhhh. They’re about to land!!”

[Seen on the Internet @FunnySight]

The best apology in the history of sports

[Jeff Passan @JeffPassan]

I’ve been watching a lot of the Juco World Series this week on ESPN+, and it’s the purest form of baseball I’ve seen in ages. No K zone. No radar gun. Dodgy field. Just guys chasing dreams and a ring. I couldn't love it more. Especially considering this is who’s pitching tonight.

[Clov! 🍉 @Clovmoon]

Arigato wey

[JoeLongBalls @JoeLongBalls]

sucks ass, should be a skull with knives behind it so the aliens know what the fuck is up

[Jordanreviewsittt @jordanreviewsit]

His 3 day weekend is over. Stop the rain and make it sunny for the work week

[Daniel C. Green | The Eagle Eye @TheEagleyeNews]

I think we need to build this.

I designed this below image, representing Lewis and Clark on the Mississippi in the style of Argonath.

At $1 Billion or more, I think it can be done.

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

RIP Oscar Wilde you would’ve LOVED twitter

[Mads @europemaxxed]

The only thing an old man can tell a young man is that it goes fast, real fast, and if you're not careful it's too late. Of course, the young man will never understand this truth.
- Norm Macdonald

[Aakash Gupta @aakashgupta]

Giant pandas are fertile for 24 to 36 hours per year. One day. Out of 365. And 60% of captive males won't even attempt to mate when the window opens.

Their diet is 99% bamboo despite having the digestive system of a carnivore. They extract so little nutrition from it that they eat 20 to 40 pounds per day and still barely have enough energy to reproduce. They ovulate once per spring. If fertilization happens, the embryo sometimes just... pauses. Delayed implantation can stretch gestation from 95 to 160 days for no predictable reason. They occasionally birth twins and then abandon one because they lack the caloric budget to raise both.

This species did not save itself. China did.

China built 67 nature reserves, created a $1.5 billion national park twice the size of Yellowstone, and planted over 50 hectares of bamboo forest. Zoos worldwide pay China up to $1.1 million per panda per year, with cubs costing an extra $600K. The Chengdu breeding center alone pulls 11 million visitors annually. US zoos have sent over $86 million to Chinese panda programs across two decades.

The part that makes the economics strange: the panda habitat in Sichuan's mountains shelters golden snub-nosed monkeys, snow leopards, red pandas, and takins. The bamboo forests regulate water for over half a billion people living downstream. The species the world spent billions to save was never really the point. The panda was the logo. The product was 2 million hectares of protected Chinese mountain ecosystem that would have been nearly impossible to fund without a mascot this photogenic.

Conservation's most expensive branding exercise, and it worked.