Charles Lindbergh Jr

I'm the enchanting wizard of rhythm.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

@ronnie_post Is it possible instead that your mom is just a fucking bitch? That seems more likely.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

Licked Nutella off of my own finger. Got turned on. Masturbated. No longer welcome at Kroger.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

@hottdudes Christ, Dad was such an attention whore.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

The width of my squat stance while on the toilet naked is just off the fucking charts.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

I'll buttfuck your dad if you let me borrow your lawnmower.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

The "Harlem Shake" is what Michael J. Fox does at the Apollo Theater.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

The best part of waking up is waking up a white male in America, albeit one who was kidnapped and left for dead. Power hierarchy!

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

This time last year, Aurora took the Colorado tragedy crown from those show-boatin' Columbine jerks.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

Tyler Perry Presents: Madea Dies From Sickle-Cell Anaemia

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

Apparently Ivan Drago hacked my Twitter account. Hope everyone clicked all those links.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

I had an ex-girlfriend who said she had back problems due to her large chest. I'm blaming my hernia on a similar issue.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

I set an alarm on my phone to remind me to tell all the sluts around me to take their birth control #feminism

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

Happy 11th 9/11 Anniversary, everyone. Tradition says that the 11th anniversary gift is steel. So that's ironic.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

It's already been 11 years since the first time I masturbated to "The Princess Diaries". That theater manager was so uptight.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

They're called "still-borns" because even though they're dead, they "still" get to be "born" #TheMoreYouKnow

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

I can't believe it's already been 15 years since the first time I didn't care that Princess Diana died.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

Based on recent events, there is no reason the US should not take Gold in every Olympic Shooting category.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

Sikh Temples don't look anything like movie theaters, you idiot!

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

School. Movie theatre. If someone commits a mass shooting in Colorado on a ski hill no one in that state will ever go outside again.

[Charles Lindbergh Jr @DaLindberghBaby]

Before Roe v. Wade, there were a lot of dangerous, back-alley Smurf abortions with paper clips.