DadModeUnlocked

Grilling meats.
Slicing drives.
Coaching America's youth.
Dominating dadhood one driveway beer at a time.
Dad Mode: Unlocked.

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

Grilling meats. Slicing drives. Coaching America’s youth. Dominating dad mode one driveway beer at a time.
Welcome to Dad Mode: Unlocked.
Follow for laughs, coaching chaos, and golf takes no one asked for. 🍻🏌️‍♂️🏈

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

Sports are special.

This weekend, my oldest son’s soccer team won their first tournament ever. It was so fun to watch them grow as individual players, but more importantly, as a team, over this past year.

Watching your kids, and their teammates, grow is one of the coolest things in my life!

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

@HenpeckedHal That’s just her polite way of saying, “It was cooked. And that’s… something.”

[Spill The Memes @SpillTheMemes]

😂

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

What is: “Something I never expected to say outside of a bar fight or toddler playdate”?

[Nayele18 @nayele18maybe]

“We don’t lick our friends” is a thing I said today

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

@treydayway Same here. Yesterday I got a full press briefing on how George lost his dinosaur. No follow-up questions allowed.

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

@Dadsaysjokes That joke cost him a hand and still came back with zero sympathy and a full dad-pun. Respect.

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

@midwestern_ope 4th generation Tupperware.

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

@midwestern_ope Of course I do. I’m one spilled taco away from turning into a fast food-themed origami artist.

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

Raise a glass today for George Wendt — better known to so many of us as Norm from Cheers.

He was more than just a guy on a barstool. He was comfort. Familiarity. The embodiment of what it felt like to be known and welcomed — the kind of presence that made you feel like everything was going to be okay, at least for 22 minutes.

Every time Norm walked in and the whole bar called his name, we all secretly hoped for that kind of love in our own lives — where someone notices, remembers, and welcomes us just for being ourselves.

Thank you, George, for bringing that kind of heart, humor, and humanity to the screen.

Cheers to Norm. 🍺

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

@MediocreJoker85 Absolutely. That’s not just a squat — that’s functional fitness and a snack. CrossFit could never.

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

@GolfChannel If Stanford wins this thing, we all have to pretend it’s normal for a Christmas tree to hoist a national championship trophy in May.

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

@MediocreJoker85 You really gummed up that decision.

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

Once that bird feeder hits the cart, it’s over—you’re officially in your “narrate the squirrels’ backstory like it’s a soap opera” era. And honestly? I support it.

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

Subtitle: “Because Apparently No One Else Lives Here But Me.” Now available in hardcover, audiobook, and passive-aggressive sighs.

[Hollie Harris @allholls]

Please Pick Up the Mess You Made That I Asked You to Take Care of Earlier and Two Times Before That

-A mom's memoir

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

Last night was brutal—no NHL or NBA playoffs to “put on the TV” while I mindlessly scrolled my phone for 3 straight hours.

Had to actually choose something to watch…like a peasant.

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

@dadmann_walking Do I risk kidney damage, or give up the perfect blanket burrito I’ve created?

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

Honestly, just thrilled to be anywhere that offers direct deposit and functioning air conditioning.

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Interviewer: What excites you most about working here?

Me: *long, heavy sigh* which job is this again?

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

@Tbone7219 That’s not laziness—that’s innovative landscaping. Bonus points if you throw a tarp over it that never actually covers the whole car.

[DadModeUnlocked @DadModeUnlocked]

@Kica333 Accidentally? No. That was a deeply personal journey and I regret nothing.