Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures

Husband to a patient woman, father to impatient children. Law Enforcement by day...and night, because shift patterns etc. I never take ANYTHING seriously.

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

Some of y’all have never been headbutted on the bridge of your nose whilst trying to deal with a toddler throwing a tantrum and it absolutely shows.

#dadlife #parenting #toddlertantrum #rightonthenose

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@piersmorgan @benstokes38 Gets payed £1m a year to lead by example.

But then you broke multiple laws as a newspaper editor so you were never one for leading by example were you?

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@iAshu21 @ESPNcricinfo If the captain can’t stick to the curfew, why should the players?

The ECB pay him £1m a year to lead the test side, which is underperforming and is coming of an Ashes hiding.

Staying out until 4am on a Monday night with another test coming up is not acceptable captaincy

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

I’m sorry but all those people jumping to @benstokes38 defence are wrong. @ECB_cricket are paying him £1m a year to be their test captain, and he can’t be bothered to go back to his 5* hotel by midnight. An under performing test side is only as good as their leader.

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@Jenny_1884 It’s called licensing laws you fucking idiot

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@TRobinsonNewEra He’s wrestling a police officer to the ground, dickhead got what he asked for 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@LozzaFox He’s being diplomatic you fucking twat. Have a day off from clutching your pearls, you might find some joy in life 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@JDVance I mean, the name Nowak is Slavic, so pretty certain he also descended from migrants too. And Vance is Germanic 👀

Pretty sure every American is a descendant of people who migrated to the US and completely destroyed the natives way of life for their own beliefs, hypocrisy?

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

So the Government have just spent a shit load of money on a plan to prevent anti-semitism in the UK. And number 1 on the list wasn’t “stop Israel slaughtering any Muslim within striking distance of Tel-Aviv”

Seems like a huge waste of money 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@SarahIsAwsm You must be a fucking idiot, because we have the right to own firearms in the UK too, we just have to go under such intense scrutiny and training to buy one, most people don’t bother.

I love it when morons comment on things they don’t know about 🤦🏼‍♂️

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@Utdbeni Because Crystal Palace will demand £100m+ for him just because he’s English. Whereas we can get same calibre players from abroad for a fraction of the price. It’s literally the same reason people shop on Temu/Shein and eat groceries from Aldi, English products are too expensive

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@JeremyTate41 That’s clearly not the UK you idiot 😂

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

Look at @StanCollymore putting this shit out but turning off his comments because he’s too fucking soft to be criticised. I bet when he was knocks his mrs about he didn’t feel soft 👀

[Stan Collymore @StanCollymore]

Manager of the Season.

Manage 15 games at a Manchester United that's spent another trillion ,come on in, your name's on the list.

Manage 3 seasons at Villa, 3 semi finals, 1 final, 2 Champions League qualifications using half a dozen players who played in the Championship, you can't come in.

A decision so laughable that when someday Unai is nominated, I hope he tells them to fuck off.

A mockery of what achievement versus caretaking is.

[Stan Collymore @StanCollymore]

Manager of the Season.

Manage 15 games at a Manchester United that's spent another trillion ,come on in, your name's on the list.

Manage 3 seasons at Villa, 3 semi finals, 1 final, 2 Champions League qualifications using half a dozen players who played in the Championship, you can't come in.

A decision so laughable that when someday Unai is nominated, I hope he tells them to fuck off.

A mockery of what achievement versus caretaking is.

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@TRobinsonNewEra Look at this wet wipe with security because he’s afraid to go out in public 😂

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

Call it what you will, but @CelticFC were given that league title, that was never a handball penalty last week, and this game would have been a complete differently spectical

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@NFLFrascella The fact you have Gonzo as your 7th best CB proves you don’t know ball, he’s easily top 3

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@willjohnsonbf1 @NFL But players can plea down to 3rd degree felonies (from 1st degree felonies) after fleeing the scene of a multi car crash, and that’s ok? Morally wrong and illegal are different standards though because it’s the Patriots, am I right?

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@SamueILFC Right, but you’re crossing your fingers you can bag 3rd this weekend, whilst Arsenal are one bad City game away from winning the league. Only one of those outlays is worth the results 🤷🏼‍♂️

And btw, I hate Arsenal and Liverpool equally, so this is a neutral opinion 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@Dakota_Meyer @SecWar Nah, that’s what it looks like when someone has read the script before the show

[Till & Ted’s Excellent Dadventures @DadandTed]

@Lfc_samie I hate Arsenal and Liverpool, but anyone who actually knows ball knows they play two different positions 🤦🏼‍♂️