There’s nothing that turns a standoffish man-dawg into a silly puppy than a nice,long, tummy rub. Just remember to bring hand sanitizer because if you over-excite them, you’ll end up with sticky hands. And besides, you never know what stinky ol’ Flapjack has just rolled in.
Ranger is so well trained that he won’t touch his kibble until he’s given the command to do so from his Handler. This is so unlike my Scoot, who inhales his food as soon as it appears. Imagine how much work it took to get this level of control over one of these hungry boys.
Sometimes Ranger wears a radio collar when his Handler needs to have extra control over him on special missions. It’s all very hush-hush, but rest assured it always results in some gang of Woof Refusers being sent to the Rescue Society for treatment.
Sgt. DeShawn equips Ranger with night vision goggles and uses a drone when he’s tracking down a tail-denier that’s hiding in the woods on the outskirts of town. Anti-socials just can’t accept the fact that the world is a better place with certain types of men living on all fours.
An active dog like Ranger needs to be constantly occupied. He’s not like a certain other lazy animal I know who is content spending the whole afternoon basking his fat, stinky balls in a sunbeam. Mind you, Ranger does seem rather high-maintenance.
I wonder what the boys are dreaming of. I bet for Sgt. DeShawn it’s having a meal with a pretty lady, and for Ranger it’s simply being praised by his handler. It’s hard to believe this peaceful-looking duo strikes terror in antisocial types who can’t accept the K9 lifestyle.
Ranger works up a mighty thirst when he’s being put through his paces by Sergeant DeShawn. He knows that if he achieves the target set for him, he’ll be rewarded with a taste of his Handler. To Ranger, there is no liquid more refreshing than DeShawn’s urine fresh from the source.
Sergeant DeShawn doesn’t own Ranger; Ranger is the property of the Sergeant’s K9 Unit. Fortunately, because Ranger is the kind of dog that bonds to just one person, when the Sergeant takes his early retirement, he’ll have the option of purchasing his trusty K9 partner outright.
I see my Netflix series based on Ranger and his Master being like an updated Starsky & Hutch, or better yet, Turner & Hooch. (Maybe I need more up-to-date references for my pitch.) In every episode, the dynamic duo gets their ‘man’ to make the world a more ‘dog-friendly’ place.