Dadding Around

Just an ordinary dad of two, husband of one, pointing out the funny (and ridiculous) side of parenting. Winner of zero awards. Moderately funny 65% of the time.

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

Imagine having an alarm clock, except you can't choose the time it goes off. It also pokes you in the eyes as well as making noise.

Oh, and it kinda looks like you, but smaller.

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

Me: Why are you being so childish?!

Ozzy: Because I'm a child...

Me: .......Yep.....fair enough.

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

This notebook sounds sarcastic...

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

@misteryman526 Where on earth did you get that idea from?

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

Sometimes I wonder what Americans do with all their free time after taking a whole syllable out of the word aluminium.

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

The sort of message you have to send people when you're a parent...

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

I don't even drink tea, but I'm starting to suspect 90% of the cups of tea made each day are just an excuse to eat biscuits.

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

Occasionally I have to cycle the order of my clothes in the cupboard otherwise I'll just wear the same 2 sets of clothes forever.

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

Wife: I don't feel too good, I'm going to bed early tonight.

Me: Oh no *switches on telly* that sounds like a good plan *turns on ps5* I hope you feel better soon *starts fallout 4*

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

@_amillennialmom Save the tape. You can see that the window opened using the electrics. Imagine if all cars could be unlocked by just pushing the windows down 😂

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

@goofysouthpaw Then technically they are just 'days', and the days that are not 'days' are 'one of those days'.

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

@ericamorecambe A school light jog is about what I will manage 😅

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

It's not a proper school run unless it's raining.

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

@aDatingDad Very good!

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

@_lola_bee I'd rather set myself on fire than make small talk.

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

@Mrs_JParker Technically 1am is super early... 👀

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

@mcjonnyw Every time! It's the rules.

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

Jack: Can I have a pear please?

Me: A pair of what?

Jack: Why are you always like this?

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

@threetimedaddy You: Making memories with your family is priceless.

Passport office: Actually....we have a price for you.

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

I think my phone's facial recognition only knows it's me when I look slightly concerned.

[Dadding Around @DaddingAround]

@mcjonnyw 🤣🤣