Johnny California

A Guide for Misguided Dads. My parenting advice column in The OC Register could be the worst advice column ever. Which would explain why they sacked me.

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

@Chase sucks. Deposited a $1K check on Dec 26 & they won't release the funds until Jan 7. It's a Bank of America check, and those funds have already been taken from the account holder. Ridiculous to just hold onto my money for 10 days. Will be closing all of my accounts soon.

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

Only #espn would have the #JETS #FiremanEd ranked hire than the #Dodgers win last night in their top stories. And don't even get me going on their #WNBA    coverage that literally nobody cares about. This is why your ratings are tanking. #gowokegobroke @espn @Dodgers @nyjets

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

@spennyt I'm not really certain who you are, but I have a little boy here who does and he can't stop smiling after getting this signed card from you. Cheers for making his Christmas and for making him a fan! #spencertorkelson #detroittigers #mlb @DiamondSportsCa

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

The one thing they don't tell you about being a #parent is all of the chicken dinosaurs you're gonna eat. #dadlife #truth #science

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

@everywhereist Had the chef been female and the plaster cast was of her vagina, you have my money.

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

Did the King of #DefundThePolice #LeBronJames just say he was angry because he had to travel home with no security after testing positive for #COVID19? You can't make up this kind of hypocrisy. #CovidVaccine #NBA #LosAngeles #losangeleslakers #lalakers #dumbjock #kingjames

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

Still pissed at @USARugby for the pathetic performance against the @AllBlacks. You lot literally set #usarugby back 20 years. @ArmyWP_MRugby or @USNAMensRugby would have put up a better effort. Good luck against @chilerugby. You're gonna need it. #rugbyworldcup #rugby #allblacks

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

Stay classy San Diego! @hungryformore #hungryformore

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

Pretty much. #Olympics #Olympics2021 #OlympicGames #TokyoOlympics #TokyoOlympics2021 #Tokyo #usa #America #USAwomenssoccer

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

To my knowledge, no #NBA players were involved in solving the murder of #AidenLeos. #whoshotaiden #orangecounty #CHP #California #ocregister #costamesa #LawEnforcement #BackTheBlue #LeBronJames #toddspitzer #californiahighwaypatrol #justiceforaiden

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

@timothyhe Was just talking to Tony about this!!! Cannae wait!!! #missyou

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

@CAgovernor This could be the stupidest suggestion of all time.

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

Amari Cooper @amaricooper totally gave up on that last @dallascowboys
posession. If he wants to take Sunday off, go work at @ChickfilA #chickfila Dude needs to be benched. #DallasCowboys
#nfl #ESPN

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

If you can riot 59 days in a row, you can vote in person. #AmericaOrTrump #2020Election @realDonaldTrump

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

Watching the @Athletics vs. @Angels. Without the fans, it still looks like every other single game that has ever been played there. #MLB #MLBOpeningDay #baseball #angelsbaseball #anaheim #Oakland #Angels #miketrout

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

@BetJett Carhire

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

#TomBrady couldn't hit @RobGronkowski if he was sitting down eating a hot dog on the turn. #tnt #thematch @brookskoepka

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

This reminds me of the plot of Superman 2, where #Superman loses his superpowers by exposing himself to Red Kryptonite in that crystal chamber, becoming mortal. And we all know how that turned out. #PrinceHarry #MeghanMarkle #Megxit #RoyalFamily

https://t.co/NOWpsArSsJ

[Johnny California @Daft_Daddy]

#Democrat leadership supports a sting to catch hairdressers violating a rule but not #ICE enforcing a law. You can't make this stuff up. #MAGA #Trump2020