Daily Dad Jokes

How do you make a dad joke? Its actually pretty easy, but the real question is how do you make him stop.

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When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

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My kids put together a PowerPoint presentation explaining why we should go to the water park...

It has several slides.

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What's the longest word in the English language?

Smiles. The first and last letters are a mile apart.

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My post about rice cakes got removed…

Apparently it was too tasteless.

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What do you call a typo carved into a tombstone?

A grave mistake.

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I don't trust trees...

They're always throwing shade, but they're all bark and no bite.

I guess I could take 'em or leaf 'em.

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I once dated a girl who had a twin, and people always asked how I could tell them apart.

Easy peasy - Alison painted her nails purple...and Bob had a beard.

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My horse only comes out of its stable when it gets dark…

It’s becoming a night mare.

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What do you call a short mother?

A minimum.

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I just bought a Humpty Dumpty toy from Aldi.

It even came with Aldi king’s horses and Aldi king’s men.

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I remember when my wife was in labor, I tried distracting her by telling jokes…

She didn’t laugh once.

Must’ve been the delivery.

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My favorite Stephen King novel is the one about the clown…

You’ve probably heard of IT.

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Why did the mathematician break up with the statistician?

She found him too mean.

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Someone stole all the soap from my bathtub.

I’m pretty sure it was my robber duck.

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Why are spies careful not to fart in bed?

Because they might blow their cover.

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My friend said his favorite Star Wars quote was, "Aargh Luke, ye scurvy dog, I be yer father."

I think he got a pirated copy.

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I changed all my passwords to “Kenny.”

Now I have all Kenny Loggins.

I’m alright…

I just like living in the danger zone.

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@halleberry Why did Halle Berry bring an umbrella to the beach?

She heard there was a chance of a Storm!

😆😆😆

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What kind of pants does a ghost hunter wear?

Just a paranormal jeans.

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I’m confused...how can a cemetery raise its funeral prices...

And blame it on the cost of living!

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I used to think orthopedic shoes were overrated…

But I stand corrected.