Daisy Lut

An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

'Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.' -Albert Einstein

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

A husband is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

a marine catfish can taste with any part of its body.

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

It takes eight and a half minutes for light to get from the sun to earth.

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

"When love is not madness it is not love."-Pedro Caldern de la Barca

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

Fun fact - The 'vintage date' on a bottle of wine indicates the year the grapes were picked, not the year of bottling!

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

Constipated people don't give a crap.

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

fun fact: termites eat wood twice as fast when listening to heavy metal music

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

That awkward moment when you want to wear your apple bottom jeans but cant find your boots with the fur.

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

A gift card is a great way to say, "Go buy your own fuckin present".

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

"I don't want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again." --F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

in Nepal, cow dung is used for medicinal purposes

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

Two years ago I married a lovely young virgin, and if that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her.

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

It's O.K. to laugh during sex ... just don't point !

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

"Sometimes,' said Pooh, 'the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."-A.A. Milne

[Daisy Lut @DaisyLuttrull]

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well". From: "More Maxims of Mark --Mark Twain