Dallas Gorham

Sixth-generation Texan, professional liar (is this true?), hopes to find more golf balls than he loses.

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

My new book "Sometimes You Lose" is available everywhere you buy books online. Sometimes You Lose (Carlos McCrary PI, Book 10): A Murder Mystery Thriller (Carlos McCrary, PI) - Kindle edition by Gorham, Dallas. Mystery, Thriller & Suspense Kindle eBooks @ https://t.co/xcPnSsGotR.

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe they won't bother you for years.

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

Maybe it's time to remove the warning labels from everything, then let stupidity work itself out of the human gene pool.

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

Found this funny sign on the wall of the men's room at Big EZ cajun restaurant in Huntsville, Texas:

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot.

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

We live in a time where intelligent people are silenced so that stupid people won't be offended.

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. 😉😉

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

Looters have it easy today. I remember when a color TV was too heavy to run out of a store carrying it.

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

I had my patience tested. I'm negative.😉

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

Someone said, "Nothing rhymes with orange." I said, "No, it doesn't."

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say CLOSE ENOUGH.

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

As I watch this generation try to rewrite history, one thing I am sure of is that it will be misspelled and have bad grammar.

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

Remember: If you lose a sock in your clothes dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any container in your kitchen.😃

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

Check out my recommendation: https://t.co/bNB2jKwCqR via @Bookbub

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

Ask your doctor if a drug with six pages of side-effects is bad for you. 🙂

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's seven years in a row, now.

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

It's fine to eat a test grape in the produce section, but you take one bite of rotisserie chicken and it's all, "Sir, you need to leave!"

[Dallas Gorham @DallasGorham]

I don't understand why people need to "get ready" for bed. I'm always ready for bed.🥱