dallas the blogger

hacktivist 🧠🪐🍂✨👠

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

the polish deli that sold me this lemon vodka really went off

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

but it meant something to me! so…

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

i guess a kiss doesn’t have to mean anything

[Audrey Horne Updates and Rumors @credenzaclear2]

It wasn’t very Mormon of him that’s what i can tell you

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

@them___fatale so cool

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

me to my sister after she gave birth: ok so ur literally mother

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

i hate when i turn on low power mode at like 90 percent, aren’t i supposed to have an “abundance mindset” ???

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

showing my crush pictures of my sisters baby like hey do you want one of these

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

@credenzaclear2 whatever you do don’t cut it

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

my sister’s in laws already have the first photo of the baby in FRAMES… the child is barely 24 hours old im so impressed

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

they really gave my niece a name that rhymes with “silly” i’m gonna call her silly millie

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

why would you want to inflict leo dicaprio on an age appropriate woman?? what did age appropriate women ever do to you???

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

i want to smoke a blunt in the steam room at equinox. i won’t, but i want to!!

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

God really does hear our prayers

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

it’s actually so funny that we’re literally *assigned* a gender at birth. and so many of us are walking around as our government-issued gender 😭😭😭

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

cant decide if i should become much more responsible now that i’m an aunt, or wayyyy less responsible

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

if i send you a picture of my niece and you dont immediately respond telling me how cute incredible perfect and adorable she is that’s actually it for us

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

my sister gave birth to a perfect aquarius baby

[dallas the blogger @DallasKoelling]

IM OFFICIALLY AN AUNT!!!