Damn True!

Only the truest tweets!

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

Dad: I'm on a flight next to some rapper who is super high

Me: Haha yeah right

Dad:

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

when you need to cough in an exam but you’ve already coughed like twice so you just sit there suffocating

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

*shows up at ur door 10 years after we had an argument*

AND ANOTHER THING..

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

If your snapchat story is 200 seconds or more u better be skydiving &doing back flips w Jesus bc trust me your life is not that interesting

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

I can’t wait for winter because that’s when all mosquitoes die and go to hell where they belong

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

“i don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

thoughts in the school hallways

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

If i stay in bed i’ll be warm

if i get in the shower i’ll also be warm

but the distance between the bed and the shower

that is not warm

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

Can we just take a moment and appreciate that Halloween is on a Friday this year?

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

True evil

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

Get good grades but be social but play sports but join clubs but have a job but get enough sleep but don't go crazy

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

words i started using ironically but can't stop saying:

• bro/bruh
• bae
• rad
• totes
• yaaas

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

im ok w spending $40 on food but wont buy a $40 shirt

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

"mom i’ve had it. i’m dropping out"

"excuse me"

"i’m done with fake bitches. the hw. all of it. done"

"ur in 2nd grade"

"no one gets me"

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

me: *sees ur message right away*
me: *doesnt respond right away so u dont think i was waiting*
me: *forgets to respond*

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

real talk the first place id hit up during the purge is the pet store u gonna see me on the street with 50 puppies on leashes

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

don’t u try and lie to me and say u don’t like one of your pillows more than the others

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

i will do a lot of things but admitting im cold to my mom who told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

i’m actually a really nice person… until you annoy me

[Damn True! @DammTrueTweets]

i love shopping but i hate spending money