Softie💜

Child of God| I speak plainly | No sugarcoating| Lover💜| African woman|Mrs A💍|storyteller|

[Softie💜 @Damviews]

As seen in my DM 👇🏽

My girlfriend and I dated for 2 years before she got pregnant for me. I didn’t deny the pregnancy because I’m certain the child is mine. Even though I wasn’t fully ready for marriage, I decided to marry her because I didn’t want to be separated from my child.

But ever since we got married, I haven’t had peace of mind. Honestly, I regr€t rushing into the marriage. After she gave birth, I asked her what business she would like to start and I gave her ₦3.5 million to support her, but instead of starting something meaningful, she spent most of the money on bags and wigs.

She hardly cooks for me. I leave for work in the morning without breakfast and sometimes come back at night only for her to ask if I can eat noodles. I stock the house with food every month, yet she barely cooks. Even when my friends or siblings visit, she doesn’t offer them food or make them feel welcome.

Another thing that bothers me is the kind of things she posts online. She shares memes and content that, in my opinion, married women shouldn’t be posting publicly. Sometimes she even posts chats between her and other men complimenting or flirting with her, saying things like they didn’t know she was married. The painful part is that my friends are usually the ones sending me screenshots because I don’t even get to see those statuses from my own end.

Right now, I feel like I have lost control of my own home. I don’t even feel ready to have another child with her. I’ve spoken to her parents about the issues. Her father keeps begging me to be patient with her, but it feels like her mother supports her behavior.

At this point, I’m considering traveling abroad and leaving her behind because I keep hearing stories about women abroad and I don’t want to become another victim. I’m confused and emotionally exhausted.

The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t want to be separated from my daughter.

Please give your advice.

[Softie💜 @Damviews]

While I was away, I received quite a number of DMs and anonymous messages, and I’ll be sharing some of them with you guys. Please feel free to share your thoughts and advice as well.

[Softie💜 @Damviews]

@ossaivictor1_ I am never in support of long distance relationship/marriage.

[Ngozichukwu @OgbujiPrecious5]

🌸 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐃𝐚𝐲 🌸

Today, I officially join the beautiful sisterhood of mothers hearts that beat for tiny humans, hands that never stop giving, and souls that somehow grow bigger with every sleepless night and every precious smile.

To every mother reading this the new ones, the seasoned ones, the praying ones, the tired but still smiling ones Happy Mother’s Day. You are the quiet magic the world stands on.

May today wrap us all in peace, pride, and the sweetest kind of joy.

[Softie💜 @Damviews]

I think both husband and wife failed in communication. The wife should have understood her husband’s discomfort earlier, and the husband should have tried one last peaceful family discussion before taking such a drastic step.

We once had a tenant whose wife gave birth, and her mother came to assist with the baby. What was supposed to be temporary eventually stretched until they even had another child. The husband was clearly uncomfortable with the arrangement because he had little to no private time with his wife anymore.

The mother-in-law practically controlled the house. She would even decide what they should eat. To make matters worse, she didn’t know how to speak respectfully. Anytime the husband and wife had misunderstandings, instead of calming the situation, she would openly take her daughter’s side and insult the man.

The final incident happened when she called the man a f00l inside his own house. That night, he got extremely angry and asked her to leave immediately. Other tenants begged him to calm down, and he eventually told her to leave by 7am the next morning.

True to his word, he ordered a cab the next morning and sent her straight to the motor park.

[Ebun @kenkenlewu]

Last Saturday, my friend drove his mother-in-law to the park, handed her ₦200,000, and told her it was time to return to her husband’s house.

The woman came for omugwo after his wife gave birth last year.

The baby is already over one year old… but the mother-in-law refused to leave.

They all live in a one-bedroom apartment.

According to him, he couldn’t even spend private time with his wife anymore because her mother was always around.

He complained several times, but his wife refused to ask her mum to leave.

So, he decided to handle it himself.

He personally took her to the park, gave her ₦200,000 for transport and appreciation, and sent her home.

His wife hasn’t spoken to him since.

[ThatBlessedGirl @BlessedGirl001]

Getting into a new relationship right after a break up is not revenge. It only shows how cheap you are.

[Softie💜 @Damviews]

From your perspective, you probably felt, “If you truly care about someone, helping out should come naturally. A woman visiting her man would likely help with one or two things around the house without even being asked. To him, it may have been less about washing clothes and more about willingness to contribute.

But from the lady’s side, you guys just started dating a week ago. She may have felt it was too early for that kind of responsibility. Some women believe once they start doing certain things too soon, the man may begin to take it for granted.

The issue now is the way both of you responded. Her answer came off proud and dismissive, while you quickly ended things over one disagreement. Blocking her immediately was a bit dramatic. I think you should have given her more time.

[ThatBlessedGirl @BlessedGirl001]

Now you're married and taking responsibility for your kids. You finally realized why your dad never bought anything for himself.🥲

[Softie💜 @Damviews]

Dear mothers in the house, you people are really strong, kudos to every one of you. ❤️

Sometimes I just wonder, if pregnancy is this difficult, how did our mothers give birth to 4 or 5 children?

I’m only in my first trimester and I already can’t eat food with pepper or salt. One minute I’m fine, the next minute I’m crying for no reason. 😭

Honestly, I keep thinking, if I wasn’t working remotely, how would I have been coping with going to work every day? Mothers are truly amazing. 🙌

[folowosele adeboye @boye4christ2006]

You might want to know :
1. The cleanest country in the world is Japan.
2. The dirtiest country in the world is India.
3. The most expensive country in the world is Switzerland.
4. The most dangerous country in the world is Brazil.
5. The safest country in the world is Iceland.
6. The most peaceful country in the world is Norway.
7. The most festive country in the world is Spain.
8. The most romantic country in the world is France.
9. The coldest country in the world is Russia.
10. The hottest country in the world is Kuwait.

11. The richest country in the world is Qatar.
12. The poorest country in the world is South Sudan.
13. The most visited country in the world is France.
14. The most isolated country in the world is Iceland.
15. The most populous country in the world is India.
16. The smallest country in the world is Vatican City.
17. The most technologically advanced country is South Korea.
18. The oldest country in the world is Egypt.
19. The most influential country in the world is US.

20. The most corrupt country in the world is Nigeria.
21. The happiest country in the world is Finland.
22. The saddest country in the world is Afghanistan.

[Vicson @degogetteer]

In Japan a corrupt person kills himself.

In China they'll kill him.

In Europe they'll jail him.

In Africa he'll present himself for election.

~ Prof. Lumumba

[Ebun @kenkenlewu]

My friend stood by her husband through everything.

Job loss. Depression. Debt.

She paid the rent, fed the children, and smiled through it all.

When he finally got back on his feet, he left her for someone younger.

He said she had become “too strong” for him and that he couldn’t stand being with a woman who slept with another man just to get him a job.

I visited her the following week.

She was sitting in the kitchen, staring at nothing.

“I don’t even know who I am anymore,” she said quietly.

[Lola💎 @ComfortLolaa]

If you find out your child is being bullied but they beg you not to report it. Do you respect their wish??

[Glorious God @GloriousGod01]

As a man, here are 10 things you should always do to stay fresh and smell nice.

1. Always take your bath first thing in the morning.

2. Use roll on and deodorant

3. Have a good signature perfume. DM @Bless_Fragrance for a good one.

4. Wear your perfume after bathing not on your sweat.

5. Have a face towel or handkerchief to always wipe your face.

6. Take fruits more often.

7. Be mindful of the kind of women you sleep with.

Above all, love God.

[Softie💜 @Damviews]

@ComfortLolaa I will still report. Respecting their feelings matters, but protecting my child matters more.

[ThatBlessedGirl @BlessedGirl001]

Its funny when they thought you were the problem, but you are no longer in their life yet they're having the same problem with their next.

[Softie💜 @Damviews]

My boyfriend broke up with me because I said my mind.

He’s always fond of laughing at girls he doesn’t find attractive. The way he talks about people’s looks honestly irritates me a lot, especially because, to me, his own mum and sister are not even fine.

So one day, we were watching a TikTok video together and he started making n@sty comments about one girl in the video. I got annoyed and replied, “At least this girl is finer than your mum and sister.” He asked me to repeat myself, and I did. Next thing, he told me to leave his house and said we were done.

Now I’m confused. Should I beg him and apologize, or should I just leave him alone?

[Softie💜 @Damviews]

While I was away, I received quite a number of DMs and anonymous messages, and I’ll be sharing some of them with you guys. Please feel free to share your thoughts and advice as well.

[Blessing's Era @BlessingCh73232]

From what you wrote, your pain is not really about wigs, food, or social media posts. It’s deeper than that. You feel unseen, unappreciated, disrespected, and emotionally disconnected in your own home.

At the same time, before making any drastic decision, be honest with yourself: Did you truly marry her because you loved who she was, or because you were afraid of losing access to your child?
Because many times, pregnancy doesn’t change a person’s values or lifestyle. Marriage only reveals what dating was hiding.

Don’t make permanent decisions from a place of anger and exhaustion.

Traveling abroad to “escape” may not solve the emotional problem. Distance can even make the marriage worse, especially when trust is already weak. And abandoning the situation without clarity could affect your relationship with your daughter in the long run.

Instead:
• Stop involving too many family members. A marriage cannot heal properly when every disagreement becomes a family meeting.

• Have one final honest conversation with your wife. Not shouting, not accusing. Tell her specifically what is hurting you emotionally, mentally, and practically.

• Also ask yourself difficult questions: Was she always like this while dating? Were there signs you ignored because you were in love or because pregnancy changed the pace?

Consider marriage counseling before making life changing decisions. Sometimes people genuinely need guidance adjusting into marriage and parenthood.

And lastly: Don’t have another child until this marriage becomes emotionally stable. A second child will not fix confusion, resentment, or incompatibility.

Protect your peace, but also protect your daughter from growing up inside bitterness and silent warfare.

A broken home is painful. But a toxic home where two unhappy people force themselves together every day can be even more damaging.

[Christy( mother of many Generations) @itzchristunique]

As you step out today,,,
May you never see evil!
May you never hear evil!!
May you never meet evil!!!

So shall it be for us all....

[Peculiar Pearl @Peculiar_pearlC]

How do single people cope during rainy season? 🌝🌝

[𝐈𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞 𝐊𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐠 @iamklausenburg]

Dear Lagos wives,

Specifically wives in Ago, why are you cheating on the men who are outside the country toiling hard to give you a better life?

If your wife is based in any of these places, she's for the community
- Ago, Lagos
- Asaba

Learn or learn the hard way