𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮

I'm that guy from that thing.

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

@Jamloops Is there any reason anyone should listen to her about this?

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

@caleboman99 Wait it's all acting?
Always has been.

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

I think I just saw the FedEx guy on the bus.

Dude, just ship yourself home.

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

I feel like:

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

The more things same the more they stay the change.

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere so of course I have to take zoloft

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

what a hideous hat

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

Breaking news: white guy who likes Norse imagery posts bad takes in the Facebook comments section leaving none surprised.

[levar burzum (classic flavor) @weedhitter]

most owned i've ever seen a man get on this site was when the postal service was doing a reunion tour & someone very excitedly tweeted "i got postal service tickets!!!" and every single reply was "those are called stamps you fucking idiot"

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

when you try to take a cool, refreshing drink from your water bottle and feel steam on your face <<<<<

[Willy Shakes @IAM_SHAKESPEARE]

For me, I'll not be gone till I please myself.

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

@MatthewPotter26 It'll be a joint venture! #mutedtrumpetsound

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

How many joints can I smoke in the rain listening to the new Taylor Swift album? Place your bets.

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

It was exactly four, down to the second

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

hoot take: folklore is Taylor Swift's Flower Boy

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

It stopped raining and as I was typing this tweet it started raining again so fuck yeah let's do it

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

@MatthewPotter26 Play along at home this time & I'll let us know next time lol!

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

Three so far.
I'm on invisible string and need to make my bed f̶o̶r̶ ̶l̶a̶t̶e̶r̶

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

@ThePointyKitty Gah fantastic! which?

[𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓹𝓲𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓮 @DanIsThe]

Pineapple: apple, but pine-ier.