Dan Jordan

Welcome to the uncertified Twitter account of Dan Jordan.

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

I’m pretty worried this tweet might go viral and ruin my life.

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@daverichard Burrow or Maye, need all the points i can get

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@daverichard Godwin or Christian Watson, full ppr

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@daverichard Tyrod Taylor or Joe burrow? Slightly worried about weather.

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@RogerFish16 Exclusively

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

Okay this new beach game’s called BallBall - just kick the ball towards the mini trampoline and use your testicles to deflect it into the wicket. But you can’t use your feet or it’s minus 3 points. And your shorts must be mad toight.

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@bertkreischer @TheRock Kinda looks like 35 plates.

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

They celebrated by filming an ice bucket challenge on their iphone 4.

[CTV News @CTVNews]

This device can detect the presence of COVID-19 in the air in just five minutes https://t.co/SFDGdMnde6

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

Has anyone ever actually compared apples to oranges?

[Jessica Wohl @jessicawohl]

Kudos to the ad team that got “mostaccioli butt” into a Huggies commercial—and to @nudd for amusing me with the image/caption for his latest Creativity Top 5.

https://t.co/Yy01ub4tvA

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@heykayadams Kai Zan

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@smartwater has the dumbest shaped bottle

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@barstoolsports all I do is swim, swim, swim...

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@HaymakerHub Real winner is the camera guy. TikTok’s been turnin high school kids into professional DPs.

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

I wish cancelling made it down to lower, everyday levels. It’d be like, “Hey, you hanging out with Mike this weekend?” “Nah, he double parks.”

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

When I need to get a pig heart transplant one day, can someone please make sure it doesn’t have a deadly pig virus? Thanks in advance.

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@ChrisDavisCW I hope that textbook came with a bully that hands out swirlies

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@ChrisDavisCW ur straight pwn’in the Twitter game 🔥

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@JBajancopymaker Hey you guys!

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@RogerFish16 Just unfollowed you

[Dan Jordan @DanJordan2001]

@ChrisDavisCW I get the email. The slack 3 min later. Then the text 1 minute after that.