Melissa’s Own Fart

Stood up in the Gravitron.

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

Oh no! Melania just accidentally punctured all the air mattresses that Joel Osteen donated with her stilettos! 😱👠

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@JillianMichaels @SamSeder Classic red herring

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@BigBoyler Cheers bar from Cheers

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@drmistercody @brad_polumbo @WTSmith17 The desired effect was always going to be achieved. People who said he did the salute would be made to look crazy by those who would always refuse to admit it and it would eventually just cycle out of the news. He could have his edgelord clout without facing any real consequence.

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@drmistercody @brad_polumbo @WTSmith17 I say this all the time. He knew people would rightly see it as a Nazi salute but also knew he could hide behind a shred of plausible deniability because his defenders would inevitably muddy the waters and gaslight anybody willing to state the obvious.

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@bradmiska Ooof this would be the wrong move. I’d rather see an Osgood Perkins or even a Ti West take up the helm. Or of the Evil Dead sequel alumni maybe Fede would be interesting

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@RudyGiuliani Is this some kind of incest kink?

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@RudyGiuliani

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@jontaffer Preach, sis

[Jon Taffer @jontaffer]

Rat shit in the kitchen!!!

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@ofctimallen

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@RobSchneider Well there goes your thesis then, you carnival barker lookin’ dipshit

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@jasonselvig This really is a layup for whoever casts Ryan Murphy’s American Crime Story

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@EmmaVigeland Cursed Tim Robinson character

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@hllywdhsslhff The first Jimmy Kimmel only sold 10,000 copies but everyone who bought it formed a Jimmy Kimmel. -Brian Eno

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@ofctimallen Did Brad forget to take out the trash again???

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

@MattBinder Grok the gates!

[Jake Flores 🇵🇸🇲🇽 @feraljokes]

"transgender operations on illegal immigrants who are in prison"

[Melissa’s Own Fart @DanMacFacts]

Obviously there’s no way I can know this for sure but G. E. Smith would’ve really enjoyed Shane’s monologue.

[Michael Rainey @mikerainey82]

I had to attend the Danelo Cavalcante press conference because I knew no one else would ask the questions that needed to be asked. Also, they were very polite in asking me to leave.

[Joe Bob Briggs @therealjoebob]

Today, in Texas, we'll be dedicating the basement of the Alamo to the man who created it.