Dan Sendiks

Yup it's me!

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

I always thought of working in a grocery store as being in prison...we'll find out how right I was

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

Solicitation? Must've been some burrit-hoes...

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

Wonder if I can find any coupons for nail files...

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

Anyone know how to change a Twitter handle?

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

Be back in an hour. Gotta go take a dump.

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

Look out Center Court! I've got free drink coupons and 3 changes of clothes!

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

Bucks game tonight! Hope any little kid in my way of getting a free t-shirt has their football pads on!

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

I really would like to tweet more. I'm gonna have to convince the Greenfield Public Library to change their hours.

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

I'll leave u all now with a great philosophical question: Paper or plastic? Good Night!

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

This morning I hit my alarm clock a little too hard. My mommy said I left a welt on her face.

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

Anyone remember when I threatened suicide cuz I missed a pair of boobies? Good times!

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

There is no truth to the rumor that the Mustangs cancelled their season because I was creeping out their cheerleaders.

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

Why is the stock of QDoba falling so rapidly?

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

Anyone need a CC Sabathia bobblehead? I'll sell em to ya in lots of 10 only!

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

@RobertMirr Hey Big Rob I'll trade u-one of your Hawaiian shirts for a New England Patriots shirt!

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

Hey @ValerieMalone19 can I get a pic with u?

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

I've got a sudden hankering for cookies. Anyone know where I can get some?

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

Hey @TheAngelArmoni I can't wait to sneak into your next show!

[Dan Sendiks @DanSendiks]

Whassup bitches! Dan Sendiks is now on Twitter! I wanted to sign up in 2012 but of course I was late!