Urban DK

Sketch comedy writer and performer, prominent don't care stylist, and expert in pizza consumption

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

Yesterday I saw a guy with hook hands ordering sea food in a restaurant. Was like: DONT BE SO LAZY YOU ARE A NATURAL FISHERMAN

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

@Cobratate This is gay of you.

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

@MPalishen @GovKathyHochul

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

@NYSDHSES @GovKathyHochul @HealthNYGov Thanks for the advisory, governor. How bout sending a whole lot of help to prevent our homes from burning? It really shocks me that this has gone on for several days and is not yet under control.

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

@Dodgers Why is this route so short?

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

@packers Wut

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

@tedcruz Nah, I don’t think I will, Ted.

[sreeky @sreekyshooter]

RFK Jr: [sounding like a fork in a garbage disposal] and that’s when the Worm told me to decapitate the whale

Olivia Nuzzi: [slowly playing with her engagement ring] wow :)

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

Jane’s Addiction getting roasted by Liam Gallagher is peak irony, this young man has a promising career in comedy.

[Liam Gallagher @liamgallagher]

@RMWhitaker @RollingStone @consequence There attitude stinks

[Liam Gallagher @liamgallagher]

@RMWhitaker @RollingStone @consequence There attitude stinks

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

@ecto_fun If you do it more he will very soon be history 😆

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

Someone approached me as I sat and read on a bench on Mass Ave and entrusted me with a bag of cracked corn to take care of the Cambridge turkeys while she’s gone. I have truly arrived.

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

There you have it, people who have their brains eaten by worms prefer trump.

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

@LasVegasLocally His motor cut out. He would normally be keeping pace with traffic :-/

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

@AHHHnnaliese

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

I’m thrilled that we get to do some more infighting before we have a Dem nominee.

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

Damn, these AI jokes just write themselves!

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

Guys I’ve decided to run the Preakness after all.

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

*Arnold voice*
Teslas, am I right? Now that’s a Total Recall

[Urban DK @DaneKerrigane]

Why not She-clipse, HUH HOLLYWOOD?!