Dane Cook PARODY

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

Sluts should be called humpty dumpty. First they get humped then they get dumped

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

Once you go asian you'll never miss an equation

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

Before Twitter = Facebook. Before Facebook = Myspace. Before Myspace = Life

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

Being called weird is like being called Limited Edition. Meaning you're something people don't see that often. Remember that

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

I wish I could kill the sexiest person alive, but, suicide is a crime

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

Everyone follow @tefl0n_John !! This guy has some funny tweets!!!!!

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

The awkward moment when someone's watching you take a picture of yourself

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

All women are beautiful. Some just require me drinking more alcohol to see their beauty

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

You know your fart stinks when you can't stand the smell yourself

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

#ThingsIAlwaysAvoid eye contact with homeless people

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

Your life isn't a door. Don't allow people to walk in and out of it as they please

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

Automatic flush sensors look a lot like hidden cameras

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

High School looks so much cooler in movies

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

#thingsgirlsdontdo fart when she with her man but when a guys with his girl he'll let it all out

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

It pretty sad if spam doesn't even wanna follow you

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

This is the coolest thing for twitter! http://t.co/ei9i9mIM

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status in a year! After 3, it should default to "I'm just not sure"

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

You know the economy's messed up when gas prices are higher than you GPA

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

We all have that one friend that needs to learn how to whisper

[Dane Cook PARODY @DanePARODY]

I saw a baby today.. with a bib on that said, "This dumb bitch put my cape on backwards."