Mystic Dan

Recovering mobile app user

[Cookie Monster @MeCookieMonster]

Elmo teach me not to eat trophy. Me teach Elmo to pick a team. 💙🧡

[NYC Sanitation @NYCSanitation]

NEW YORK CITY YOU LISTEN TO ME! IF YOU’RE NEAR SOME TRASH RIGHT NOW, ANY TYPE OF 24-HOUR TRASH, GO DISPOSE OF THE TRASH RIGHT NOW AND PUT YOUR HAND INSIDE THE OFFICIAL NYC BIN! YOUR TRASH IS OUR TRASH AS OF RIGHT NOW. CONGRATS KNICKS 💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡

[Mariella ! @pfaffphobic]

I will sink low enough to make one of these jokes once and only once

[Blake ™ @NeilNevins]

Commencement speaker: I love AI and I hate all of you. They gave me a big check to be here. I love firing people at my big company. I bet none of you would get jobs at my business now that we have AI

(booing)

Commencement speaker: oh? What? What?

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

I knew it

[Mystic Dan @DanielElManiel]

@pick_six22 https://t.co/GnwoiGf6p5

[Asante Samuel @pick_six22]

Vrabel is a faithful man. Whatever happened in the past is the past, as of today he is a faithful man. Move on

[PFT Commenter @PFTCommenter]

January
February
Izzo
May
May

[alex lei @alexL_E_I]

Taco Bell should start doing ceviche

[Tom Studans @maximumwelfare]

Sigourney Ffffffhwheaver is positively insane work

[Diego Lopez @thisdiegolopez]

Unbelievable levels of berries and cream from Paul Mescal

[Mystic Dan @DanielElManiel]

@mikeybasile1 Big Red in 2

[Mystic Dan @DanielElManiel]

Imagine looking at a newborn baby boy and saying “I think I’ll name him Markwayne”

[Clement Uwajeneza @cuwajeneza]

In 2017, I stepped onto the Facebook campus in Menlo Park. They took us to the Oculus VR lab first. A geeky engineer gave us a demo of the VR features and ended on the haptic gloves that let you "feel" virtual objects without touching anything real. Then he paused, voice almost reverent: “Imagine connecting anyone in the world… real social interaction… without ever leaving home.” The demo was amazing but I walked out with a strange feeling. This guy is "solving for humanity" and is excited about a world no longer needs physical human connection

We passed a long hall of developers. One guy—Black, friendly—leaned over his monitors and asked where the group of us (mostly Africans) was from. We chatted. His desk had big screens, half-eaten snacks, the faint smell of takeout lingering. His neighbor, paler watched curiously but, too timid to join. The desks were comfortable, the food smell everywhere, as it was available in every corner. It all felt… contained. Like this campus was its own sealed ecosystem, where the world outside was just data to optimize.

Fast-forward to 2020. I work at Andela, where we placed remote engineers with Silicon Valley teams. Some companies flew their leads over to meet the "remote" teammates in person. When they visited the Kigali campus I went to dinner with them. They were 5. Of this dinner I vividly remember 2 conversations. One guy launched into how "all humans are actually lactose intolerant after infancy… we're the only species that keeps drinking milk." They all nodded, confessed their own intolerances like it was a quirky universal truth. Then came the photos: a dog's birthday party. Balloons, cake, friends invited. The owner beamed like it was his kid's party. I love dogs. But something twisted in my chest. These are the people shaping the tools billions use every day—yet their version of care, connection, family… felt redirected, abstracted.

Now it's 2026, and Sam Altman says training an AI costs less than "raising a human"—because it takes "20 years of life and all the food you eat during that time before you get smart." He compared childhood—first steps, heartbreaks, scraped knees, bedtime stories, learning trust—to server racks and electricity bills. I think back to that VR promise of connection without leaving home… to offices smelling of food and isolation… to dogs celebrated like children while real human messiness gets optimized away

[Effie Klimi @effiebio]

I assume OpenAI holds some kind of internal competition for worst comms idea in terms of likely perception by the general public and the winner gets to have their suggestions spoken out by sama

[Will @SilentDawnLB]

'Primate' heads have gained a powerful ally.

[Mystic Dan @DanielElManiel]

Given he broke the distance record but makes only 86% of his kicks, who’s the skill position comp for Cam Little?

[Mystic Dan @DanielElManiel]

@please_nooooo That’s how they encourage you to add a bunch more connections to drown those out

[Mystic Dan @DanielElManiel]

@please_nooooo Will guarantee you a better one if you come to the right side of Connecticut