Almost a year ago, I half-jokingly wrote a children's book about Thanksgiving and now I'm almost considering having it illustrated and turned into a real book because why not.
In an effort to be "healthy", I ate an apple instead of an Oreo and, believe it or not, I still want the Oreo and will probably have it eaten well before you read this tweet. Good effort, at least.
My stomach has the audacity to growl as if it is an abandonded puppy that has never been fed or cared for while looking like it very clearly has probably too many meals a day.
I'm just trying to get some kind of fit but my stomach had 20+ years of being the leader of my life and has a bad attitude about not getting cookies anytime it wants.