Daniel Carrillo

writer. obese dog mom.

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

I'm at the zoo and I keep calling the snakes, "lizard noodles," and security is asking me to leave.

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

@GovBillLee @TNDeptofSafety @TNHighwayPatrol Since we’re all praying, I pray that you don’t have a job next election cycle. You morally bankrupt piece of shit. You’re a fucking coward!

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

@timburchett You’re a despicable human being. An actual piece of living shit. You are scum.

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

@RepOgles You’re an otherworldly piece of shit coward!

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

Signing off! It’s been fun Twitter!

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

Conservatives will call liberals “sheep” or “soft” and then take a Segway tour while wearing cargo shorts.

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

@lulusdotcom Thanks for crediting the original author of this tweet (me), you uninspired cocks!

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

@blakezeff @StrikeDebt I have $220K in student loan debt. Worked in mental health for 3 years before realizing I’ll never pay it off and switched careers.

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

His full name is Post Office Malone.

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

@awomanskwarned It just hit different out of the quart

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

@DylanWa68690046 That’s five words

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

This country fucking sucks so join me in celebrating this angel’s birthday instead.

[the Beverly of Cheverly @NickoGallo]

I keep thinking about how, with two months notice that this ruling was coming, the democratic-controlled congress not only *didn't* codify abortion rights, but overwhelmingly passed a security bill protecting these SCOTUS justices

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

I fucking hate it here.

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

@MarshaBlackburn You accepted $1.3M in donations from the NRA last year. Is that worth the lives of 19 children and 2 teachers? Garbage person.

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

You will never be as cool as the guy that hits the back of the delivery truck twice to signal to the driver that the cargo is secure.

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

The pursuit of slappyness

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

Being lost in all this is how the fuck did Demi Moore not get that GI Jane 2 role?

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

@ambermruffin Beautifully stated

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

Also fuck the legal system and fuck Kyle Rittenhouse.

[Daniel Carrillo @DanielRCarrillo]

The Rittenhouse verdict get us one step closer to an actual Purge night.