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Cuban Mussel Crisis
@DankSinatra4
Everything is small potatoes
Joined April 2016
39
Following
12
Followers
74
Posts
DankSinatra4
retweeted
Cat Damon
@CornOnTheGoblin
about 10 years ago
me: [slides bank teller a note] bank teller: what's a "roblery"
DankSinatra4
retweeted
Good Kyle
@KyleMcDowell86
over 10 years ago
[wakes up with a hangover] uhh what happened last night [Carrot Top in bed beside me] Good morning [Me] Carrot Top my love, what happened
DankSinatra4
retweeted
chuuch
@ch000ch
about 10 years ago
it's messed up how the emergency room turned me away bc i had no insurance and because technically it was a "fashion emergency"
DankSinatra4
retweeted
chuuch
@ch000ch
over 10 years ago
me: what if some bugs speak english but they're too small for us to hear news reporter (holding mic): ok but did u see the robbery
Who to follow
Brey and 9 others
@JsOnMyBeats
Black. Lives. Matter.
💎🍆Hunter Biden Stan Account 🍆💎
@ChurritoPapito
He/Him, Trash, Bad Hombre, BLM, ACAB I doodle sometimes
Julia Dale
@TheJuliaDale
Wife. Mother. Leader. Latina. Attorney. CEO at @CivillaDetroit. Tweets/opinions are my own.
Cuban Mussel Crisis
@DankSinatra4
over 10 years ago
*me with fork and knife in hand, looking around hungrily* Wait this is not a sausage fest at all
Cuban Mussel Crisis
@DankSinatra4
over 10 years ago
I'm basically an oyster in that I eat stuff and then it comes out as a solid material that can be sold at jewelry shops for high prices
DankSinatra4
retweeted
jonny sun
@jonnysun
about 13 years ago
TWO+TWO=FOUR TW+TW=FUR 2TW=FUR (W=UU) 2T(UU)=FUR 2TU=FR U=FR/2T U=FR over 2T you = forever tooty "MOM!!! DAD KEEPS BULYING ME WITH MATH"
Cuban Mussel Crisis
@DankSinatra4
over 10 years ago
*me ordering at drive thru* I'd like a sausage pizza Employee- sir we have a hostage situation send help Me- no sausage not hostage
Cuban Mussel Crisis
@DankSinatra4
over 10 years ago
Moral Combat, a game where all of the characters are philosophers, but you end up playing for 6 hours without anyone actually winning.
Cuban Mussel Crisis
@DankSinatra4
over 10 years ago
Lobster? I hardly know 'er!! Hahahaha my mom won't answer my phone calls.
DankSinatra4
retweeted
skip intro
@chuchugoogoo
over 10 years ago
how boys dress vs how men dress 😍😍😍
DankSinatra4
retweeted
Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity
@BuckyIsotope
over 10 years ago
ME: *3D prints a girlfriend* Hey baby 3D Girlfriend: *3D prints a boyfriend* I have a boyfriend
Cuban Mussel Crisis
@DankSinatra4
over 10 years ago
What about a show where people with giantism face day to day struggles in a really small environment: Big People Little World
DankSinatra4
retweeted
chuuch
@ch000ch
over 10 years ago
[gets down on one knee] babe. this is gonna sound strange but i forgot how to use one of my legs
DankSinatra4
retweeted
jonny sun
@jonnysun
over 10 years ago
if i ever had a choir i'd name it "some assembly re-choir-ed"
DankSinatra4
retweeted
Fred Delicious 🍆
@Fred_Delicious
over 10 years ago
[can opener breaks] "more like...can't opener, hahaha" [i decide to finally open up the divorce papers that arrived 3 days ago]
DankSinatra4
retweeted
jonny sun
@jonnysun
over 10 years ago
as a child i asked my dad why the moon looks really really big sometimes and he said "simulations always have bugs" and i havent slept since
DankSinatra4
retweeted
jonny sun
@jonnysun
over 10 years ago
*showing my child an acorn* i hav no idea how, but this little thing has a whole tree inside it. prety cool, right
DankSinatra4
retweeted
jonny sun
@jonnysun
over 10 years ago
ME: once the heart of the olive is removed, the hole is filled w/ a memento– TEACHER: its Pimento ME: …but…it was JUST startig to make sense
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