Dan O'Brien

You can find me in the self help section of your local public library

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

If your net worth is over $1 billion I’m gonna need to you to tip $1000 at every coffee shop iPad so I don’t have to

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

In my next life I want to be reincarnated as Mrs. Maisle

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

I will cheat on a final before I cheat on bar trivia

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

Literally wtf is college I got a 62 on one midterm and a 110 on the other and I’ll probably end up with a B in both classes

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

ALL the cast of Ted Lasso is hot literally ALL of them there is not a single person in the entire cast that isn’t a 10 holy shit

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

I find my own thoughts to be overstimulating at times

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

On my way to karaoke and I’m actually so greatful for @mirandalambert I can’t wait to sing a song about being blonde and killing my husband

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

@trixiemattel They were creative with that one

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

Tonight at the bar I watched a m*n ask siri to calculate a 15% tip on his bill and I’ve never gotten a more visceral ick in my life

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

Literally just came to the realization that veins and arteries look exactly the same and aren’t red and blue I feel so fucking stupid

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

There is nothing more girlboss than turning off your iPad in the middle of lecture

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

Required 1-2 years of experience in a related field on every “entry-level” job posting where the fuck am I supposed to enter

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

Accidentally turned my headphones all the way up and caused a whole scene at the gym

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

@hankgreen

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

Tennessee you better watch your back you bald bitch.

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

So glad I have my healthy coping mechanism to balance out my unhealthy coping mechanisms

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

These ads are too much wtf is my instagram algorithm trying to suggest

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

Straight people and their gender reveal mushroom clouds omg

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

@PopBase Gonna go crazy when he drops integral

[Dan O'Brien @Danobr2001]

In case of an intruder I sleep with a fourloko under my pillow