The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD

@braindeadDRAMA & @FastFingerSlim are The Dapper Dads. The podcast is dead but you can always listen anyway. We have more tricks up our sleeves, stay tuned.

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

THE FINAL EPISODE. Thanks to everyone who ever listened, we appreciate you ❤️

https://t.co/l0kP1rh7jC

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[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

Wow, you guys act like we don’t even exist anymore

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

Checked in on our phone number for the first time in awhile. Happy to report some fun stuff is still coming thru occasionally

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

Where have you peed? We’ve peed everywhere

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

It’s officially been half a year since our last episode. We can only imagine your life is in shambles without us. We’d like to say it gets better but it doesn’t.

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

People keep asking us what it would take to come back, even for just one episode, and the answer is the same every time. A disgustingly large amount of cash in unmarked bills in a briefcase that glows when you open it.

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

When the podcast was alive we wanted to transcribe each episode mainly so we could search for the things we never remember. Of course after it ends someone hits us up with a sample of the last episode. It’s been so long we can’t remember what we said but it seems a little off

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

If our podcast studio would have been this nice we would still be doing it

[Clumsy Chord @DownTwnDanBrown]

If the @DapperDads are really dead then why did I find their podcasting location??

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

We did the in-person, not recorded podcast thing again. If it was an episode it would be called “Bloomers Full of Squirt”. You can imagine what we talked about (jk no you can’t)

We think we might be onto something with this new groundbreaking format

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

On Saturday we sat in the rain playing beer darts and talking about how the world isn't the same as when we were younger. We're gracefully easing into retirement.

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

When Hollywood stops claiming it’s “disgusting, sloppy pornography” and finally understands it’s ART

[Clumsy Chord @DownTwnDanBrown]

Hey @DapperDads when is the movie coming out?

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

We drank for 9 hours yesterday and talked the whole time. It was like a podcast without it being recorded. Very excited for the future with this new concept

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

We have heard your many requests for us to make a new episode as an exclusive NFT but the honest truth is we both already have Nice Fuckin’ Testicles

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

This is what we cry ourselves to sleep to now

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

Here is the amazing listener submitted fan fiction from episode 81. Go listen to us read it for maximum arousal.

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

Podcast story update:

Drama is reunited with the gps that was stolen from his car as discussed on episode 105. He was also told that the “werewolf” who robbed him got caught when he stole a gun from a car, accidentally shot himself in the thigh and his leg was almost amputated

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

Excited to announce we are launching a Dapper Dads hard seltzer which is just us spitting regular beer into your mouth

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

It’s officially been a year since Slim’s big barf party. In a few days it will be 2 years since the ill-fated case race that made Drama blow chunks. What are we doing in excess this February you ask? Nothing. We’ve finally learned our lesson

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

If you have not been a Patreon subscriber and are finally realizing you miss hearing our stupid voices you can go to https://t.co/Iy7Ml8aVln. $20 for unlimited access to almost 80 uncensored Patreon exclusive episodes of varying lengths! What a deal!

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

Of course what we explained for the future of our Patreon turns out to not be possible. If you were a Patreon subscriber you should be receiving an email with access to a drive of all the Patreon episodes. Please let us know if you did not or if you have any issues/questions

[The Dapper Dads ARE DEAD @DapperDads]

The only stock we’re interested in publicly trading is $CUM