Ian McDonald

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

Cheetah ran the fastest.
Ben Johnson's like, not this again.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

50,000,000 years of parrotfish poo gives you white tropical sands.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

Kicked by hackers for playing good.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

Next year the oldest person alive was born in 1910.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

T=C-V is the keep it simple stupid equation of time.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

The oldest person ever lived a million hours.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

Fool's Golden Age.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

The Crow's Conspiracy.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

Clouds that weigh a trillion tonnes.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

500 trillion synaptic connections. Nature really went a bit over the top.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

If I gave you one of my teeth and you put it in your gums, does that make me an organ donor?

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

If a kid aged 15 is too vulnerable and naive to view social media but a kid aged 5 could change its sexual identity and the parents can't do a thing about it, that doesn't add up.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

Even more inbred than cheetahs.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

But the subspecies suffers from being overly inbred. That's the only way they could keep the bloodline alive in the family to get to today.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

New Man From The Valley could be AI with Neanderthal algorithms.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

They are even smarter than homo sapiens, but that came at a cost. Since both species are at the biological intelligence threshold, once you tweak it slightly it costs. For Neanderthals, they lost their human empathy. That's why they're into satanic rituals and stuff.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

This is the royal family. Clearly, at least 25% Neanderthal.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

This is 100% Neanderthal.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

Dewclaw your nutsack.

[Ian McDonald @DarkTimeIan]

The oldest person in the world normally holds the title for about a year.