Darth Trog

I’m a tall, muscular Adonis with a killer sense of humor. I only play a pudgy middle-aged bore on the internet because I love irony.

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

Relationship status: logging repeatedly into Dropbox and Twitter so the login notification email I get will make me feel like I have friends.

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

Don't you give me that look Mr.-high-and-mighty-I've-never-screamed-in-truimph-after-hitting-three-achievements-at-once-while-playing-solitaire-in-the-bathroom-stall.

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

I bet I'd get a lot more sleep if I'd just set my alarm clock for bedtime instead of wake-up time.

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

I have got to stop yelling "that's right mother f------!" every time I catch a new pokemon. In public, at least.

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

I always make sure to think good thoughts about the people I see. You know, in case I'm walking past a telepath.

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

@chelseahandler Has anybody made an anal joke yet? I can't read through all thse comments to find out. And please don't say "Trump's mom."

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

It doesn't seem fair that today is both International Women's Day and National Pancake Day, because women shouldn't have to be in the kitch…

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

Deadpool wears tighty-whiteys. #deadpool

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

Pro tip: using a urinal is a lot easier when you put your underwear on frontwards in the morning. #ICanFeelYourAnger

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

Stop staring at your feet and you'll see the hot guys who are tall! @rolieC0LIEolie @tallgirlstruggs @diaryoftallgirl

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

@myjcsimpson Barefoot? You could wear your heels and still dance with me.

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

#tallgirlproblems? How tall are you? @myjcsimpson

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

@paytonsinclaire What were you doing with a curling iron down there?

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

I already know what's going to happen in Game of Thrones season #4.

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

Not when they use unnecessary apostrophes. RT @Leo_Tweets #Leo's are hard to stay mad at

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

@WookieeSpeaks I would cut that guy off and drive slooooooow.

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

@this503girl That's my line!

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

@this503girl BUT IT HIT ME IN THE EYE!

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

@QueenDarkside When women are friendly, they're flirting. When they're not, they're playing hard to get. Hey, I didn't make the rules.

[Darth Trog @DarthTrog]

@this503girl Sorry...what?