Daryl Wayne Horner

Writer/comedian/elderly sex symbol

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

Of all the things I could have been and I choose piece of sh*t?

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

#JeffBezos "presenting" at #PDiddy "White party" #Satire #Lube #DannyDevito #IASIP

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

@PrivateDSuedove @realDonaldTrump Wishing his attacker could aim better is about as patriotic as I can get as an actual veteran and patriot. So, good luck with your opinion civilian

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

#NewProfilePic

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

Here, enjoy my meme #CatsForTrump #TaylorSwift #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice #HaitianImmigrants #KamalaHarris #debate #SpringfieldOhio

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

@DMarie_SC Potatoes are delicious
That photo is super photoshopped
I'm 53 and feel fairly pretty 😍

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

Happy birthday to me. This is what 53 feels like #Birthday #PictureOfTheDay #Paris2024 just for the clicks.

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

@GamewithDave I'll be 53 in 2 days. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more Brotato to play

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

If the #NFL ran a strip club, all of the dancers would be in wool sweaters and you'd get kicked out for looking at them. The new #OnsideKick rule is absolutely batsh*t stupid. #NoFunLeague #NFLTrainingCamp #wednesdaythought #whybother?

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

#Montgomery #Alabama I'm calling you home for a few months. Somebody point me in the direction of some stages please and thanks! #Comedy #standupcomedy #guestset

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

#TrumpCult : we're here to save #America from the #Snowflakes and other countries aren't our concern!

Also #TRUMP #Voters : cancel The #Olympics    and #France because we think we make THEIR RULES TOO and #MarieAntoinette is a #Trans #Jesus hating #Pedophile and we're dumb

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

@AmandaJK_ Yep. In black&white but otherwise unaltered

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

You want proof that #Trump and his #TrumpCult have zero friends of color? Look at how upset/surprised they are that a black woman from #Oakland can #RunTheDozens ( #Roast his dumb*ss like a boss)better than him. he has no idea what's coming for him #Kamala2024 #KamalaHasMyVote

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

@GreyhoundBus I appreciate your immediate response and look forward to rectifying the issue

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

Dear @GreyhoundBus
Your staff in Nashville is somehow under the impression that we are escaped felons who should be screamed at to GET IN THE CAGE!!! 25+ times, threatened for being too slow on crutches and then screamed at again after boarding. Why? Explain it to me please

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

@GreyhoundBus It wont let me DM you so here is a copy of the info.

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

Why does every #trump wife look like she's selling ass but she's been downgraded to "works OFF OFF the strip" now? #MarALago

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

After a long research & study I have come to the factual conclusion that of all the people at all the #Greyhound stations in the U.S, bus folks in #Indianapolis are easily the triflingest 🗑. Ya'll need God and a bath.

2 baths
Wash your ass

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

I always love you, #Minneapolis. I wish you would have loved me back. I suppose it's on to someone new #TwinCities #Minneapolis

[Daryl Wayne Horner @DarylHorner]

We always regret the things we never got to try.

No more!
Who's down to go try to do a murder?