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Dennis Quaid
@DasQuaid
Professional asshole. Sometimes I act, too.
California
Joined June 2010
5
Following
909
Followers
110
Posts
Dennis Quaid
@DasQuaid
over 14 years ago
Happy Festivus!
Dennis Quaid
@DasQuaid
over 14 years ago
Dear Dr.
@DesertBus
: Dennis Quaid approves! FOR THE CHILDREN!!!
#DesertBus
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
Fellas, never let your wife call you a pervert if she's standing in line to see a movie about a chick trying to hump a wolf AND a dead guy.
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
How awesome would it be if Charlie Sheen started banging Demi Moore?
Who to follow
Manitoba Agriculture
@MBGovAg
Follow us for updates on agriculture programs & services. This account is monitored M-F during regular business hours. Moderation Policy: https://t.co/JdlbZ2OYyk
Howie Day
@HowieKDay
Hotel Oscar Whiskey India Echo
Marcio Luz
@Marcioluz10
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
#MyIndianName
Hillary's is Farts Like Tuba.
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
#MyIndianName
is Humps Like Rabbit.
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
I think i'd rather have tried to sandpaper a bobcat's ass in a phone booth than come in to the office today.
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
You haven't lived if you haven't laid on a waterbed drinking a Coors Light and eating a McRib while watching a Cops marathon.
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
This illegal use of the hands penalty is REALLY going to hurt Penn St.
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
Saw a sign that said "Insert Bill Here" sooooo long story short I got my dong caught in a vending machine today.
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
Fathead: good name for a poster on your wall. GREAT name for a sexual favor from a husky gal.
Dennis Quaid
@DasQuaid
over 14 years ago
Seven for twelve so far tonight with the line, "Bet you $10 my dick won't fit in your mouth."
Dennis Quaid
@DasQuaid
over 14 years ago
Sometimes I can't tell the difference between Breaking Bad and real life, then I remember I don't have lung cancer.
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
Ladies, disregard this "No Shave November" business. Sincerely, Dudes Everywhere.
Dennis Quaid
@DasQuaid
over 14 years ago
And her hair's the size of a boulder! She smacked me with a frying pan!
Dennis Quaid
@DasQuaid
over 14 years ago
Her eyes, they shone like they're shinin'! I swear she had pidgeons for hands.
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
#ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage
Verne Troyer's foreskin.
DasQuaid
retweeted
Jesus Christ Edge Lord Parody & Savior
@Jesus_M_Christ
over 14 years ago
As the most eligible black bachelor in the universe, I'm calling dibs on Kardashian's ass. You guys can have the rest.
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
So
@KimKardashian
is back on the (black) market?
DasQuaid
retweeted
Bill So Hard
@PimpBillClinton
over 14 years ago
Whether she's got a prenup or not, I bet
@KimKardashian
ends up "in the black" when this is over.
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