My mom. She cleaned my cuts for me, hugged me, told me she wished she could change so much, asked me what I wanted her to do so I could get better, and told me I was stronger than this. She talked to me in such a soft tone. I'm a horrible person, I'm so selfish.
My heart is beating so fast, I'm gonna upset myself by reminding myself of everything that has happened so I can raise my adrenaline and cut myself more
I feel like a horrible daughter, she's already going through a lot, and I'm having episodes and crying hysterically over stupid things. It's my fault I act this way, it's my fault I'm having episodes, it's my fault, it's all my fault, and I have no one to run to.
I was having another episode, my mom found me and she hugged me. She was asking if I wanted to talk about it, if I wanted to write out what was wrong for her. She told me she was sorry and she wishes she could fix everything. The worst part is that I can't tell her anything.
I am so embarrassed of my existence, I'm embarrassed of my hobbies, my sense of style, my interests, my creations. I can't take myself seriously, I don't think someone as pathetic as me deserves a consciousness.