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Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
I follow back!!!
#funny
#jokes
Joined September 2012
261
Following
285
Followers
435
Posts
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
over 11 years ago
[hiding in pantry from murderer] [quietly tries to open bag of chips]
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
over 11 years ago
I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
over 11 years ago
If you can't tell the difference between delivery and DiGiorno there's a good chance you've been fooled by a tranny once or twice too
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
over 11 years ago
If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unnatractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.
Who to follow
Indian Console Gamers
@ICGOriginal
Latest game news & deals. ICG strives to push Console Gaming in India. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Lizzie Dearden
@lizziedearden
Security correspondent @theipaper Author of 'Plotters: The UK Terrorists Who Failed'. New edition out now: https://t.co/UIzrlhdboY
The Bruvs
@TheBruvsTV
#Comedy #Animation Villains trying to behave. Badly. Subscribe to our #YouTube https://t.co/RlRkS6WTty… Also on #insta
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
over 11 years ago
It's a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
over 11 years ago
I wonder if Magic Johnson ever regrets wasting the world's best porn name on a basketball career...
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
over 11 years ago
I wonder if wolves wear t shirts with pictures of virgins on them
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
almost 12 years ago
Wife's a big tennis fan, telling me how disgusting she finds the constant grunting during the women's matches. I have promised her I'll stop
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
almost 12 years ago
Why did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Because because Burger King did not wrap his whopper.
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
almost 12 years ago
Bicycle cop- "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Me- "Because I let you"
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
almost 12 years ago
"Sir, can I ask why you're smoking TWO huge blunts?" "Officer, I'm..." *turns to camera* "Double jointed" *cop starts breakdancing*
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
almost 12 years ago
After 6 miserably failed dates, I'm starting to think my lucky wife beater isn't so lucky after all.
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
almost 12 years ago
All my fish keep dying I don't think there's enough straw in their cage.
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
about 12 years ago
Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
about 12 years ago
I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
about 12 years ago
Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
about 12 years ago
I bought some shoes from my drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
about 12 years ago
You never realize how many folks you hate until you have to name your child.
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
about 12 years ago
I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup today. Im expecting a massive vowel movement.
Funny One Liners
@DatFunnyShiz
about 12 years ago
If you're wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don't google 'old man bond age'
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