David Smith

Don't take everything seriously, as life itself is serious enough.

[Jim Pickard 🐋 @PickardJE]

literally the justice secretary

[Charlie @CPHigson]

The year is 2059, Disney, Google and Apple have completed their merger with the moon, announcing a subscription service for tides. I shuffle my senior ass home from my 5th job to find that unfortunately I spent all my money last month renting my organs.

[Charlie @charlwynmcr]

List of things I was exposed to at school and didn’t turn into:

1) oxbow lakes
2) The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand
3) magnesium dioxide
4) Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing
5) photosynthesis

List of things I wasn’t exposed to at school but became anyway:

1) Gay

[Zelda Universe @ZeldaUniverse]

Ok whose idea was it to put the moon 🌝 from Majora’s Mask 🎭 in Animal Crossing 😱

[Alberto Nardelli @AlbertoNardelli]

“We had meetings with David Davis when he had no idea what he was talking about” https://t.co/z0k4W1zRxb

[Nicola Sturgeon @NicolaSturgeon]

The one thing missing from that pointless PM speech was any acknowledgment of the massive responsibility she bears for this mess. She could have changed course after the first defeat of her deal. But she is still trying to force a choice between a bad deal and no deal. Shameful

[Alberto Nardelli @AlbertoNardelli]

expectation vs reality

[Jon Snow @jonsnowC4]

The politics of desperation:

[Francis Maxwell @francismmaxwell]

6 - that is the number of days since the Christchurch massacre. And already, the New Zealand prime minister has banned weapons of war from the marketplace.

1981- the number of mass shootings since Sandy Hook. And nothing has been done to make people safer in the United States.

[Kevin Schofield @KevinASchofield]

Labour MP: "I thought her speech was a fucking disgrace and a licence for every right-wing scumbag in the country to go after MPs. She’s never had to say to a bloke installing a panic button 'needs to be a bit higher mate so the kids can’t reach it'."

https://t.co/YPhwyZ6f9R

[Jon Snow @jonsnowC4]

Theresa May tells the British People ‘I’m on your side” ...which side is that? Leave, Remain, or Resign?

[The Secret Barrister 🦋 @BarristerSecret]

You have been a key figure in successive governments which have since 2010 cut the criminal justice system to ribbons - from the police to the CPS to courts to forensic science to legal aid to probation to prisons.

How dare you pretend this is not your fault.

[Jess Phillips @jessphillips]

I just watched the Prime Minister going in to vote for No Deal. I told her it was a disgrace. I hope she is gone by morning She doesn't deserve her office

[Jason Sinclair @jlsinc]

Imagine the bollocking that Owen's just had.

[katie spalding @supermathskid]

The government sure does talk a lot about what "people in this country want" for a group who has refused at literally every single opportunity to double check what that is