Dave 🇺🇦

Attorney. I do all that I do to appease my dog.

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

Breaking news: Having a dog is awesome

[NPR @NPR]

Dogs and humans who interact with each other get a jolt of oxytocin — the so-called "cuddle hormone."

And new research suggests having a dog is linked to a reduced risk of death for people with cardiovascular disease. https://t.co/HQRIpCxyTH

[John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang]

JD Vance is a fusion of every kid that vanished on the Wonka Factory tour.

[Michael McKean @MJMcKean]

You know, the Cybertrucks aren't that impressive up close.

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@dalepartridge Nice try at satire, but I don't believe anyone is this ignorant

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@DevinCow Best case scenario, he was pushing Russian propoganda without being told to?

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@MackenzieMays That's odd, I was sure the crazy people on Facebook were saying otherwise.

[Ryan J. Reilly @ryanjreilly]

Statement From Former Vice President Dick Cheney:

"In our nation’s 248-year history, there has never been an individual who is a greater threat to our republic than Donald Trump. He tried to steal the last election using lies and violence to keep himself in power after the voters had rejected him. He can never be trusted with power again.  

"As citizens, we each have a duty to put country above partisanship to defend our Constitution. That is why I will be casting my vote for Vice President Kamala Harris."

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@RadioFreeTom Say it again, slower, and in a sexier voice...

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton I did. Read, skippy.

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton Damn, you really have nothing, do you?

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton Still can't find any of it? That's ok, you're probably used to disappointing people.

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton I sure hope not, I'd starve to death. You can't even find the things you think you said, let alone what you imagined someone else said.

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton Oh no, is this another thing you imagined? Or is there an actual link this time?

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton Which literally zero people disagreed with.

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton Given your famously awful track record at guessing distances, god knows what 2 inches means in your head.

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton No, because unlike your sordid imagination, my dick actually exists.

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton We'd like to. Just point out what we should read.

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton Great, where?

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton @ColinGBooth @hockeybruinsnut @thrwbck Oh good, so it should be super easy to link to it then.

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton @ColinGBooth @hockeybruinsnut @thrwbck You're more than welcome to prove that, but given your reading skills, I highly doubt you have the capacity.

[Dave 🇺🇦 @DaveCA]

@StonKold @AsherLangton @ColinGBooth @hockeybruinsnut @thrwbck I did, that's why I said it's remarkable. You've said a lot of dumb shit, but only one reply can be the worst, and that was definitely it.