Dave Chapelle

This is a parody account. No way affiliated with Dave Chapelle.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

Oh you text 8 guys at any given moment? You must be so loved.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

Oh you had a sip of alcohol? You must be so wasted man.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

We breathe air. Trees make air. Homework kills trees, therefore homework kills us..!

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

Just thought I was kicking some ass at Mario Kart... Until I realized that I was watching the wrong screen /:

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

Oh, you have a body kit. You must go extremely fast.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

Throwing ice at people that need to chill out.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

Shes not fat. Shes kidnap proof.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

You and your ex are over? Then please continue talking about them.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

When I see your face, there's not a thing I would change.... except the direction I'm walking in.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

Condoms are cheaper than diapers.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

That awkward moment when you're singing and the artist gets the lyrics wrong.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

It's really annoying when someone won't apologize or admit they're wrong.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

Calling me "socially awkward" makes it seem like there's a place where I'm not awkward.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

I wanna meet this bridge-jumping friend my parents complain about.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

I know 3 things on my test: 1. Name 2. Class 3. Date.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

What is wrong with me I just bought a bag of weed from an infant.

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

What did the five fingers say to the face?

SLAP!!!!

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

Can we take a shower and talk about this?

[Dave Chapelle @DaveChapelle_]

I question my sexuality all the time.